开场字幕、配乐
室内：詹姆斯的房间 - 早晨 [镜头降低] 詹姆斯·魏尔德斯通，一个英俊的英国贵族 温柔地看着身旁熟睡的艾米丽·杰克逊 （以下称为积丝）
积丝在Vogue杂志社工作， 虽然出生于英国， 积丝所参杂的英式及美式口音表明她在美国长大
嘿，小懒虫 Hey, sleepy head!
- 你醒了？ - 现在几点？ - You up? - What time is it?
快中午了 Almost noon.
我想你该离开了 I'm afraid you've got to go.
- 你说什么？ - 你该离开了 - Excuse me? - You've got to go.
我有朋友过来吃早午餐 I have friends coming over for brunch.
什么？在我的公寓里？ What? In My apartment?
对不起哦 Sorry.
都3年了你还把我当一夜情人！ 3 years and you still treat me like a one-night stand!
宝贝，对不起，我晚了 我去照顾詹姆斯了 Babies! Sorry, I'm late. I had to deal with James.
詹姆斯？我以为你跟他分手了 James? I thought you broke up with James.
我有啊，可他还是接受不了 I did. He's just not taking it very well.
所以一个人孤苦伶仃地把自己关在城堡里？ What? All alone in his big, empty castle?
说话好听点 Be nice.
不管怎样，我为他的男性自尊做了急救 Anyway, I had to give his ego CPR.
真够累的，你对他说什么？ How tiresome. What did you say?
你知道啦，他怎么怎么的好 一定会让他命中注定的女孩得到快乐 Oh you know, how great he is, how he's going to make
现在只是没复原而已 the right girl so happy, how it's really not him,
- 就那些那些的 - 然后他就信了你？ - it's blah blah blah... - And he believed you?
当然没有！所以我就上了他 Of course not! So then I had to fuck him.
原来如此 Right.
皮特去哪儿了？ Where's Peter?
宝贝，你没来跟我们吃早午餐！ Babies, we missed you at brunch!
抱歉，我得读完“Empire”的1500字 Sorry, I had to finish 1500 words for Empire.
- 泰露拉跟你问好 - 她最近怎样？ - Talullah sends her love. - How is she?
跳进爱河了！ 跟我为她介绍的一个牙买加模特儿 In love! With this Jamaican model I set her up with.
可想而知，他一天就跟她做4次 Apparently, he shags her 4 times a day
还启发她写了整本整本的新诗集！ and inspires her to write volumes of new poetry!
- 那不好吗？ - 当然不，我讨厌泰露拉的诗集 - Isn't that great? - No, I hate Talullah's poetry.
说到做，你跟道格的约会怎样了？ Speaking of shags, how was your date with Doug?
- 还行 - 还行？只是还行？ - Fine. - Fine? Just fine?
听我说，积丝 Look, Jacks!
我很感激你为我安排与道格约会 I really appreciate you trying to set me up with Doug
还有菲尔，还有约翰 And Phil and John.
- 道格有什么问题？ - 没有，我只是… - What's wrong with Doug? - Nothing, I just...
我只是想象不到我们将来能在一起 I just don't see much of a future together.
只吃了一餐饭你怎么能想象得到？ How do you know that after one dinner?
也许因为我们没有任何共同话题 Maybe because we have nothing in common?
不可能，你是艺术家，道格也是艺术家 That's not true. You're an artist, Doug's an artist.
道格是个卖花的！ Doug's a florist!
他是个园艺设计师 He's a horticultural designer.
没错，还有着一个用九重葛来塑造出 Yeah, whose 'life goal' is to create a sculpture of
戴安娜公主的人体模型的“人生目标” Princess Diana entirely of bougainvillea.
你真是势利 You are such a snob!
我不是势利！我只是有花粉症 I am not a snob! I have hay fever.
我会对道格的作品敏感 I'd be allergic to Doug's work.
道格值得比我更好的男人 Look, Doug deserves better than me.
你那种态度就永远找不到男朋友 You're never going to find anyone with that attitude.
什么态度，我只是现实罢了！ What attitude? I'm just being realistic.
如果你现实的话，我就是英国女皇！ If you're realistic, then I'm the Queen of England.
说什么你？我才是英国第一Queen！ (注：Queen有同志的意思) Hey! I'm the Queen of England!
你好，女皇殿下！ Hello, your Majesty!
片名：相思成灾
达芙妮，你真可怜！ Oh Daphne, you poor thing!
当然，我可以处理这次摄影通告 Of course, I'll deal with the shoot.
我能搞掂萨莎 I can handle Sasha.
好吧，爱死你，亲一口，拜！ OK. Lots of love, big kiss. Bye bye.
你什么时候开始 跟你的上司说“爱死你，亲一口”？ Since when do you say 'lots of love, big kiss' to your boss?
自从达芙妮经历了不愉快的离婚以后 Since Daphne's going through a nasty divorce.
她需要得到爱的肯定 She needs positive affirmation.
怎么了，宝贝？ Babies, what's wrong?
没有什么，只是有点紧张 Nothing. I'm just a little nervous.
据说他的脾气很厉害 He's meant to have a ferocious temper.
谁？ Who?
马文·伯恩斯坦，我今天要面试的男人 Marvin Bernstein. The man I'm interviewing today.
什么时候你对名人开始紧张？ Since when do you get nervous about celebrity profiles?
从名人指的不是那些微不足道的节目主持人开始 Since we're not talking about some two-bit British TV presenter.
马文·伯恩斯坦是个现代传说！ Marvin Bernstein is a living legend!
他在过去的20年里 The man's produced some of the best films
制作了几部最棒的电影！ in the last 20 years!
他是电影界里的巨人！ He's a giant among the film industry!
- 巨人？ - 也许我应该请病假 - A giant? - Maybe I should call in sick.
那可能就是你苦恼的原因 Maybe that's what's bothering you.
我不太舒服吗？ That I'm not feeling well?
不是，那个马文·伯恩斯坦提醒了你 No, that Marvin Bernstein reminds you
为名人写传略来付房租 that these celebrity profiles are meant to pay the rent.
一方面你还是专心写你的剧本 While you're focusing on your screenplays.
我们现在能不能不要 谈到我那不存在的电影生涯？ Can we not talk about my nonexistent film career right now?
我已经感到很渺小了 I'm feeling small enough as it is.
宝贝，记住 Babies? Just remember.
马文·伯恩斯坦可能是一个巨人 可你是一个沉睡中的巨人 Marvin Bernstein may be a giant. But You are a giant in waiting.
对，对，我是 Yes, yes I am.
- 我一点也不懂那句话什么意思 - 我也不懂 - I have no idea what that means. - Neither do I.
我跟马文·伯恩斯坦先生有约 I'm here to see Mr. Marvin Bernstein.
- 姓名？ - 皮特·西蒙 - Your name? - Peter Simon.
皮特·西蒙，你跟尼尔是什么关系? Peter Simon. Any relation to Neil?
什么？ Excuse me?
尼尔·西蒙，那位名作家，你也是名作家吗？ Neil Simon! Reat writer. You a great writer?
哦，这我不知道 Oh, I don't know.
你如果是就会知道 You'd know if you were great.
伯恩斯坦先生？肯尼思·布拉纳在第二线 Mr Bernstein? Kenneth Branagh on line 2.
肯尼思·布拉纳！又是一位名作家！ Kenneth Branagh! Another great writer!
肯尼老兄！ Kenny B!
我太喜欢剧本了，我太喜欢了！ I loved the script! I loved it!
台词都真他妈的棒！ Fuckin' brilliant dialogue!
那些都是莎士比亚的年代 Well, hat's off to Shakespeare then!
- 没人接 - 什么？ - No answer. - What?
我说，伯恩斯坦先生的房间里，没有人接 I said no answer in Mr. Bernstein's room.
哦，这样啊 Oh, right.
没关系，我就等等吧 Fine. I'll just wait.
那边请 Please.
好了，小姐们，手挽着手 OK, ladies, arms around each other.
好，杰德请和本双目直视 OK, now, Jade look into Ben's eyes, please.
谢谢，对了，不！含情脉脉的 Thank you very much, OK. No! With love.
潘朵拉，进行得怎样？ Pandora. How's it going?
你知道啦，就那样， 本讨厌杰德，杰德讨厌本 Oh, you know, Ben hates Jade. Jade hates Ben.
还有萨莎讨厌所有人 And Sasha hates everyone.
看来不像是个快乐的组合 Nothing like a happy set.
有人吗？我在等着呢！ Hello? I'm waiting!
保罗，如果要我亲自开口的话，就太迟了！ Paolo, when I have to ask for it, it's too late!
那位帅哥是谁？ Who's the cutie?
萨莎的新宠，阿根廷人 Sasha's latest squeeze. Argentinean.
听说萨莎在伊帕内马海滩上把他钓上来的 Apparently, Sasha picked him up at lpanema Beach.
萨莎总是能在海滩上找到他的“助理”可真神奇 Amazing how Sasha always finds his 'assistants' at the beach.
不是吗？ Isn't it?
我猜想这样他才有机会评估一下他们的“能力” I suppose it allows him to examine their 'qualifications'.
Talulla？你怎么了？ Talullah? What's wrong?
哦，没什么，刚跟自由大吵了一架 Oh od! I just had a huge row with Freedom
所以我想我们完了 and I think it's over.
这样，我还在摄影… OK, I'm in the middle of a shoot...
我不想活了！ Oh od! I feel like dying!
那好吧，告诉我发生了什么 OK. Tell me exactly what happened.
事情是这样，他来我家然后我们就做了 Well, he came over and we shagged.
然后我就问他对有 一妻一夫婚姻制什么看法 And then I asked him what he thought about monogamy.
不，不，你从不应该在 跟一个男的做了以后谈婚姻 You don't talk about monogamy After you shag a guy...
- 可他说一妻一夫婚姻制不错 - 他这样说？ - No, no but he said he liked monogamy. - He did?
然后他又说他也觉得 橡树，松树，枫树也不错 Then he said he also likes oak and pine and maple...
那他还有些幽默感 So he's got a sense of humour.
一妻一夫婚姻制不是个笑话！ Monogamy is not a laughing matter.
如果自由反叛我，我会活不下去的 If Freedom ever cheated on me, I don't think I could go on!
泰露拉！你们才认识一个星期 Talullah! You've known the guy for a week.
别说得好像电影里的台词一样 Stop talking like you're in some kind of a movie.
没办法，我天生就喜欢戏剧化 I can't help it. I'm naturally dramatic.
打扰一下，萨莎找你 Excuse me. Sasha needs you.
哦，好，我马上来 Oh, right. I'll be right there.
- 他是谁啊？ - 萨莎的助理，是个同志 - Who is that? - Sasha's assistant. He's gay.
- 什么？ - 同性恋！ - What? - Ay!
- 你怎么知道？ - 相信我 - How can you tell? - Trust me.
我有伦敦最好的同志测探器 I have the best gaydar in London.
那男孩是个标准的同志 That boy gay as a goose.
真他妈幸运的同志 Lucky fucking geese.
对不起，先生 Excuse me, sir.
我们接到通知说伯恩斯坦先生需要飞回纽约 We've just got word Mr. Bernstein had to fly back to New York.
哦，知道了，谢谢 Oh, right. Thank you.
真是抱歉！ I'm so sorry!
对不起 I'm so sorry.
现在要你爱她！喂她吃葡萄 Now you love her! Feed a grape.
深情款款地喂！要真爱，很好！ With love! Real love! Excellent!
把葡萄揉在她的嘴唇上 And crush a grape on her mouth.
非常好！性感一点！更性感一点 Excellent! Make it sexy! More sexy!
让葡萄更性感一点！ Make the grape sexy!
好，好！然后吻她，吻嘴唇 Yes! Yes! And kiss her. On the mouth.
很好，性感的爱！行，我们搞掂了！ Excellent! Sexy love! Yeah, I think we have it!
积丝，我今晚可以借你一套晚装吗？ Jacks, would it be all right if I borrowed an outfitjust for tonight?
我有一个约会 I kind of have a date.
- 约会？和谁？ - 哦，就一个男的 - A date? With who? - Oh, just this guy.
我是说，我还不知道 这算不算一个正式的约会 I mean, I'm not sure it's even technically a date.
就一起吃晚餐而已 It's just dinner.
潘朵拉，选一套 最性感的晚装然后立刻回家 Pandora. Pick out the sexiest outfit and go home immediately!
- 我还要包装这些衣服啊 - 有我帮你顶着 - But what about the wrap? - I'll cover for you!
什么更重要？真爱还是潮流？ What's more important? True love or fashion?
只是一个晚餐啦… It's just a dinner...
好吧，让我换一种说法 OK. Let me rephrase that.
什么更重要？任何事情还有潮流？ What's more important, anything or fashion?
谢谢你，积丝 Thanks, Jacks.
保罗，过来 Paolo, querido.
晚餐，9点整，别迟到了 Dinner, 9 o'clock, Nobu. Don't be late.
我一个人可招呼不来 I can't face them on my own.
- 没问题 - 谢谢你，亲爱的 - No problem. - Racias, carino!
Purple服饰店的凯蒂明早会来领这些 Katie from Purple will be picking these up in the morning.
好的 Alright.
詹姆斯! James!
今天过得怎样？ How was your day?
- 有人在吗？ - 在这呢 - Anybody home? - In here!
跟传说中的巨人的会谈如何？ So how'd it go with the legendary giant?
- 没有，他没接见我 - 哦，宝贝，节哀顺便 - It didn't. He stood me up. - I'm sorry, Babies.
你为什么要裸着身子看厨书？ Why are you reading a cookbook in the nude?
书名叫“裸露的厨师” It's 'The Naked Chef.'
- 所以你要跟他做伴吗？ - 我在等着冲凉 - What? You're keeping him company? - I'm waiting for the shower.
你的洗发水快用完了，我只能用肥皂 You're almost out of shampoo so I had to use soap.
- 哦，你好，皮特 - 你好，詹姆斯，最近怎样？ - Oh hi, Peter. - Hello, James. How are you?
- 很好，你呢？ - 好，很好，谢谢 - Ood, yes. You? - Yes, good. Thanks.
那，我该走了 Well, I better be off.
我是9点钟的航班，还得回去收拾行李 My flight's at 9 and I've still got to pack.
这样啊 Right.
- 我下机后再跟你联系 - 祝你在纽约玩得开心 - I'll call you when I land. - Have fun in New York!
谢谢 Thank you.
- 拜拜，皮特 - 拜拜，詹姆斯 - Bye, Peter. - Bye, James.
积丝? Jacks?
你到底在干什么？ What are you doing?
正读着这个甜菜根沙拉的美味菜谱 Reading this delicious recipe for Beetroot Salad
和唇形菜还有香膏质的白醋拌在一起！ with marjoram and balsamic vinegar dressing!
- 你打算跟詹姆斯怎么办？ - 不怎样办 - What are you doing with James? - Nothing.
你一个月前已经跟他分了手！ You broke up with him a month ago!
我知道，我们之间只有性而已 他能填补空虚 I know, it's just sex. He fills a void.
字义上的空虚 Literally.
我就是看不出来你这样怎能认识新男朋友 I don't see how you expect to meet someone new
如果你每天跟你的旧男友粘在一起的话 if you spend all your time with your ex.
好主意！ Ood point!
我应该把詹姆斯从前男友变成现男友 Maybe I should get back together with James
就可以不用每天都跟他在一起了 so I spend less time with him.
我不觉得很好笑 I don't think it's funny.
我也不觉得 Neither do I.
跟他做爱到底有什么意义 What's the point of shagging someone ad nauseam
如果你知道你永远都不会爱他？ if you know you're never going to love them?
这不是你想的那么简单 It's not so simple.
他爱你，积丝，你却不爱他 He's in love with you, Jacks. You're not in love with him.
再简单不过了 It doesn't get more simple than that.
这不公平！ 我也很在乎詹姆斯，很在乎 That's not fair! I happen to care about James. A lot.
而且我讨厌他在乎多于我的事实 And I hate the fact that he feels more than me.
我也讨厌我不爱他的事实 And I hate the fact that I'm not in love with him.
因为我知道我应该爱他 Because I know I should be.
因为他有才华，温柔体贴，有地位 Because he's smart and sweet and decent
我也不想伤害他 and I don't want to hurt him.
所有我一直拼命地培养感情 So I keep hoping that I'll grow into it.
直到有一天也许 我会一觉醒来然后感觉到… That maybe one day I'll wake up and I'll feel...
- 感觉到什么？ - 爱情！ - What? - In love!
那种昏昏的，全身发热 内心翻滚的感觉 You know, dizzy and feverish and nauseous...
那不叫爱情，积丝，叫感冒 That's not love, Jacks. That's the flu.
起码我在尝试，你还讥诮我 Well, at least I'm trying! You big cynic.
我没有讥诮！ I'm not a cynic!
你最近一次感觉到恋爱了是什么时候？ When's the last time you even considered falling in love?
今天 Today!
我不是指那些书中或电影里的人物 I'm not talking about some character in a novel or a movie.
我也不是 Neither am I.
- 什么？ - 什么什么啊？ - What? - What?
什么嘛，皮特? What? Peter!
那把所有的告诉我！他叫什么？ So, tell me everything! What's his name?
大卫·威廉姆斯 David Williams.
- 大卫·威廉姆斯，然后呢？ - 什么然后？ - David Williams, and? - And what?
然后，他是谁？你在哪儿遇见他？ And, who is he? Where'd you meet him?
怎样遇见他？告诉我一切！ How'd you meet? Tell me everything!
说来话长… Well...
我正从宾馆里走出来，他正走进来 I was on my way out of the hotel. And he was walking in.
他手臂下夹着两幅画 还有索斯比拍卖行的行事表 He had these two paintings under his arm and a Sotheby's catalogue
然后我们就撞在一起 and we just sort of bumped into each other.
我无法解释那种感觉，但是… I can't explain it, but...
很美妙 It was amazing.
因为就好像我看见了我一生中 Because it was like I was finally seeing the person.
都在等待的人 I'd been waiting for my entire life.
天啊，好浪漫！ Oh my od! That's so romantic!
那我什么时候可以见到他？ So when do I get to meet him?
等我再见到他以后 Right after I do?
- 什么？ - 就是说，我们实际上没有交流过 - What? - Well... We didn't actually meet.
就那一瞬间而已 Per se. As it were...
但是你知道他的名字 But you know his name.
是啊，他苏富比地产公司的行事表上写着的 Yes, it was on the Sotheby's catalogue.
他掉了，我就帮他捡起来 He dropped it and I picked it up.
然后你什么都没说吗？ And you didn't say anything?
你什么也没说？ You didn't speak?
这就是你所谓让你掉进爱河里的人吗？ And this is the person you think you could be in love with?
一个你从未说过任何话的人？ Someone that you've never even spoken to?
一个你从未遇见过的人？ Someone that you've never even met?
听着，积丝，我知道这听起来很荒缪 Look, Jacks, I know it sounds crazy.
可我就是… I just...
我真的觉得他就是我命中注定的那一个 I really think he's the one.
他当然是… Of course he is...
我不觉得我能接受这个 I don't think I can face this.
你当然可以！我们是来支持芬利的 Of course you can! We're here to support Finlay!
再说了，你不能每天呆在家里 Besides, you can't stay at home every night,
想那个你见也没见过的人 pining for someone you've never even met!
多谢 Thank you.
我以为这种动物死尸是10年前的风格 I thought this whole dead animal thing was 10 years ago.
对甲醛来说，是的 In formaldehyde, yes.
但是芬利说这个没加防腐剂 But Finlay says this stuff isn't preserved.
- 让它就在你的眼前慢慢腐烂 - 真厉害 - It rots right in front of your eyes! - Nice!
芬利在哪儿？想在我变成 素食主义者以前打个招呼 Where is Fin anyway? Say our hellos before I turn vegan.
你好，你好 Hello? Hello.
我是芬利·麦克米伦，我欢迎你们来到 I'm Finlay McMillan and I would like to
Unicorn&Allagher艺术展览会举办的 welcome all of you to Unicorn & allagher's
生命即是死亡的艺术展 LIFE IS DEATH exhibit.
自由，给我拿一杯香槟，我渴死了 Freedom, get me a glass of champagne. My throat's parched.
我看起来像个奴隶吗？ Do I look like a slave?
在我介绍我们的艺术家之前 Before I introduce the artist himself,
泰露拉·温特沃斯女士 同意为我们朗诵她的诗一首 Talullah Wentworth has very kindly agreed to read one of her poems.
有请泰露拉·温特沃斯女士！ Talullah Wentworth!
老天啊，救救我们！ Od help us!
我觉得这很可爱 泰露拉想当下一位希薇亚·普拉斯 （英国著名女诗人） I think it's sweet. Talullah wanting to be Sylvia Plath.
那她就应该跳过这段 然后去烧炭自尽 Well, she should fast forward and find an oven.
谢谢你，芬利 Thank you, Finlay.
还有谢谢Unicorn展览会 给我带来这么生动的作品！ And thank you Unicorn for this truly moving exhibit!
我想把这首诗献给芬利的爱人 I'd like to dedicate this poem to Finlay's lover
也是我最好的朋友，特洛伊·约翰逊 and my best friend, Troy Johnson,
他的生日也在今天！ who's birthday it is today!
特洛伊今晚会很乐意来 Troy would have loved to come tonight,
但由于英国教会和保守分子 but thanks to the conspiracy of silence
对艾滋病的镇压下 between the Catholic Church and the Tories
他不能来 in the face of Aids, he can't.
因为他死了 Because he's dead.
- 我还没醉就要听这个 - 芬利也要 - I'm not drunk enough for this. - Neither is Finlay.
“肉” MEAT.
黑大男人的肉 充实在柔软的体内 Big black dick in nice soft chick.
为我带来 我从未发现的震撼 I never knew the thrill I'd feel,
知道你一定会偷走我的心 knowing how you had to steal.
你晃了晃你的小虫 我就上了钩 You dangled your worm, I took the bait.
这只鱼已经上了钩 这就是命运 This fish is caught. It's only fate.
去死，去死，去死吧！ 帝国主义的笨猪们 DIE DIE DIE White lmperialist Pigs.
贵族都是白种的懦夫 Aristocracy is pale and weak.
你们杀不死我的爱人 You can't kill my love.
他是黑人，他是我的肉 He's black. He's MEAT.
积丝，你在这里干什么？ Jacks! What are you doing here?
我回来看看你没事才放心 I just came back to make sure you're OK.
- 我没事，当然没事 - 真的？ - I'm fine. Sure. - Yeah?
真的，千真万确 Yeah! Absolutely.
我就是讨厌这一天，你知道吗？ I just hate this day, you know?
10年了 10 years.
为什么我还这么想念他？ How come I still miss him so much?
因为你是个奇妙的人 Because you are an amazing human being.
还有因为他是个奇妙的人 And because he was an amazing human being.
以及我是个傻瓜 And because I'm a silly old queen.
也对 That too.
- 谢谢你，积丝 - 谢我什么？ - Thanks, Jacks. - For what?
总是记着我 For always remembering.
还有总是陪伴着我，我们所有人 And for being there for me. For all of us.
我是一个大型潮流杂志社里的一个肤浅助理 I'm a superficial assistant at a major fashion magazine.
你这样会毁我形象的 You'll ruin my reputation.
好了，我送你回家 Come on. I'll give you a ride home.
还有，皮特的事我需要你帮忙 Besides, I need your help with Peter.
他相思成病 He's fallen madly in love.
- 是吗？为谁？ - 我不知道，他也不知道 - Yeah? With who? - I don't know. Neither does he.
明白了！ Right!
说起男朋友，那个叫什么来着最近怎样？ Speaking of boyfriends, how's what's his name?
- 你是说自由？ - 就是自由 - You mean Freedom? - Freedom.
- 自由是个什么名字？ - 牙买加名字，亲爱的 - What kind of name is Freedom? - Jamaican, darling.
- 他怎么没来吃早午餐？ - 我们为他的车吵了一架 - Why didn't he come to brunch? - We had a row about his car.
我告诉他我一般不会坐进 I told him I don't generally get into vehicles
一辆比我手提包还要便宜的车里 that cost less than my handbag.
然后他骂我是个被宠坏了的婊子 And he accused me of being a spoiled bitch
只喜欢他的肤色而已 who's only in love with his skin color.
我还满惊奇的 一个全天24小时发毒瘾的人 Which is surprisingly insightful for someone
能这么具有洞察力 who's stoned 24 hours a day.
- 还有那个变态总是骚扰我 - 哪个变态？ - Oh, and the creep keeps calling. - What creep?
一个电话局的，名字叫托尼 From the phone company. His name's Tony.
一天给我打5次电话，求我跟他约会 He calls me 5 times a day begging me to go out with him.
说什么我的声音吸引他 Apparently my voice haunts him.
你在英国电信有个恶心的电话偷窥狂？ You have an obscene caller from British Telecom?
我告诉过她要报警 I told her she should report him to the police.
我会的，但他保证给我免费宽频 I would, but he promised me free broadband.
- 什么是宽频？ - 嘿，大家好，抱歉我迟到了 - What is broadband? - Hi, guys, sorry I'm late.
- 嘿，芬，你好吗？ - 你好，亲爱的 - Hi, Fin. How are you? - Hello, darling!
就一杯泡沫咖啡，谢谢 Hi, just a cappuccino please.
我打了几个电话，我能确定 So, I made a few calls and I'm pretty certain
他是我所想的那个人 it's who I thought.
真的吗？ Are you serious?
没错，他上星期肯定去了奇安瑟瑞酒店 Well, he was definitely at the Chancery Hotel last Monday.
- 天啊！ - 你们到底在说什么？ - Oh, my od! - What are we talking about?
芬利查到了皮特上个星期 Finlay's figured out who Peter fell in love
爱上的那个人 with last week.
他星期一早上去了奇安瑟瑞酒店见客户 He was at the Chancery Hotel, monday morning, seeing a client!
- 谁？ - 大卫·威廉姆斯 - Who was? - David Williams!
- 你认识我撞见的那个人？ - 我认识大卫 - You know the guy I bumped into? - I know David!
我喜欢圣经里出现过的名字 I love biblical names.
我以前有只猫也叫大卫，大卫猫王！ I used to have a cat named David. King David!
- 他什么样的？ - 它死了，从树上掉下来 - What's he like? - He's dead, fell out of a tree.
他是苏富比现代艺术馆的主管 He's head of Sotheby's Contemporary Art Department.
他很有才，迷人，和蔼可亲 总之很有魅力，你知道啦 He's smart, charming, kind. Attractive, as you know.
所有有钱的贵妇都喜欢他！ All the rich ladies have crushes on him!
在他的拍卖会上，他们都抢着出高价 During his auctions, they all try and outbid
来引起他的注意！ each otherjust to impress him!
我肯定我妈就是他们其中之一 I bet my Mother's one of those rich old women.
- 他是同志吗？ - 他是同志！ - Is he gay? - He's gay!
我的猫也是 So was my cat.
说实话，我真不敢相信 我以前没把你们俩配在一起 Actually, I can't believe I haven't tried to fix you up ages ago.
他正适合你！ He's perfect for you!
而且他对我跟他说的也很感兴趣 And he was very intrigued by what I told him.
什么？你告诉他了？你告诉他什么？ What you told him? What did you tell him?
什么都没说 Nothing.
好呐，什么都说了 OK, everything.
- 但是他很受宠若惊 - 天呐！ - But he was really flattered. - Oh od!
- 现在我说什么也不能见他了 - 什么？为什么不能？ - There's no way I can meet him now. - What? Why not?
因为这样就太刻意了 Because it's too set up!
他不可能在知道我 这么暗恋他的情况下喜欢我的 There's no way he'll be into me knowing I'm so into him.
大卫才不是那样的人，相信我！ David's not like that! Trust me!
我不得不同意皮特的看法 I have to agree with Peter.
我觉得偶遇会好很多 I think accidental meets are much better.
就像我跟自由 我们是在洗衣店遇见的 Take me and Freedom. We met in a launderette.
在我告诉你他会去那儿以后 After I told you he was going to be there!
这就并不代表，偶然是不可以被安排的 Which isn't to say accidents can't be planned.
你还好吧？ Are you OK?
我很好 I'm fine.
要见母亲的时候我总会这样 I'm always like this when I have to see my mother.
你是不是宁愿不去？ Would you rather not go?
不，别傻了 No, don't be silly!
这可是你的大日子 This is your big night!
再说我妈喜欢你，也喜欢那位大卫 Besides Mother loves you. She loves this David.
她最喜欢的主题音乐是“媒婆，媒婆！” Her theme song is 'Matchmaker, Matchmaker.'
你想要一个巧克力块吗？我亲自做的 Do you want a brownie? I made them myself.
谢谢 Thank you.
这些都很好吃 These are very good.
是啊，我放了很多小肉丁在里面 Yes, they've got quite a lot of hash in them.
泰露拉，发生什么事？ Talullah! What's wrong?
自由有了外遇 Freedom's having an affair.
外遇？你们才恋爱两周 An affair? You've only been going out for 2 weeks!
他跟谁有外遇？ Who's he having an affair with?
我，我刚才发现他结婚了 Me, I just found out he's married.
- 你没事吧？ - 哦，当然没事 - Are you OK? - Oh! Yes, fine.
我找不到我的钥匙，他们在跟我玩捉迷藏 I just lost my keys and they're playing hard to get.
找到了！ Tada!
我们还没有正式介绍过 我是保罗·萨缅托 We haven't met properly. I'm Paolo Sarmiento by the way.
艾米丽·杰克逊 Emily Jackson.
但我朋友都叫我积丝 But all my friends just call me 'Jacks.'
好啊，我朋友都叫我保罗 OK. All my friends just call me Paolo.
好啊 OK.
你很漂亮 You look very beautiful.
哦，我正要去一个为我室友安排的晚宴 Oh! Well, I'm going to this black tie thing for my roommate.
不对，也不是为我室友安排的… Well, it's not exactly for my roommate.
但是…我是说，谢谢 But... I mean, thanks.
保重 Take care.
我能送你一程吗？ Can I give you a lift?
哦，不用了 Oh! That's OK.
我要去布鲁姆伯利见萨莎所以… I have to meet Sasha in Bloomsbury so...
刚好我正要去那儿 That's where I'm headed!
好吧 OK.
- 上车吧 - 谢谢 - Et in! - Thank you.
哦，泰露拉，原来你在那儿！ Oh, Talullah! There you are!
这位是克劳斯·法斯宾德 This is Klaus Fassbinder.
克劳斯，这是我的女儿，泰露拉 Klaus, this is my daughter Talullah.
和她最好的朋友，保罗 And this is her best friend, Paul.
- 是皮特，妈妈！ - 没关系的 - It's Peter, Mother! - It's all right.
亲爱的，你该穿件好看点的衣服 Darling, you could have worn something nicer.
您也该穿件不露点的衣服 You could have worn something. Full stop.
对了，法斯宾德先生 你和那位导演有什么关系？ Sorry, Fassbinder, are you related to the director?
- 谁？ - 没事了 - Who? - Oh, never mind.
温特沃斯夫人，非常感谢您能邀请我 Mrs. Wentworth, thank you so much for this invitation.
哦，请叫我费莉西蒂！ Oh please! Call me Felicity!
大卫正合适你，亲爱的！ David is perfect for you, darling!
我以前怎么没想到把你们配在一起啊？ I can't think why I didn't set you two up earlier!
你就是费莉西蒂的女儿？ So, you're Felicity's daughter?
出生没得选，这可不能怪我 Only by birth. So don't hold it against me.
多纳泰拉，失陪一下 Donatella! Excuse me.
谁设计那些高跟鞋的一定很恨女人 Whoever designed those heels must really hate women.
我设计那些高跟鞋的 I designed those heels.
还多亏了你设计 And thank goodness you did!
不然我妈就得用屁股走路了 Otherwise Mother's arse would be dusting the floor.
你跟萨莎在一起有多长时间了？ So how long have you and Sasha been together?
三个月 3 months.
真的？你们怎么认识的？ Really? How did you two meet?
- 这说来其实有点丢脸 - 哦，没关系，告诉我 - It's a bit embarrassing actually. - Oh go on. Tell me.
我们在伊帕内马上的一个海滩派对认识的 We met at a beach party at lpanema.
萨莎想跟我照张照片，我说不行 Sasha wanted to take my picture. I said no.
他就一直缠着我 然后一件事接着另一件事 He pestered me. And one thing led to another.
然后… And...
我就在这儿了 Well, here I am.
萨莎是个很棒的摄影师 Sasha's a wonderful photographer.
是的，每个人都这样说 Yes. So everyone says.
你对摄影没兴趣吗？ You're not interested in photography?
哦，非常有兴趣，我在大学里学过 Oh, very much. I studied it at university.
不过我更喜欢现地报导，更能捕捉真实性 But I'm more into reportage. Capturing real moments.
萨莎对捕捉真实性也很有天赋 Sasha's brilliant at capturing real moments.
你不这么认为？ Don't you think?
不完全 Not really.
我觉得萨莎对创造真实性很有天赋 I think Sasha's brilliant at creating moments.
但大多数不是真的 Most of which aren't real.
不过话又说回来，潮流本来就不是真实的 But then again, fashion isn't real,
也许说到底，萨莎也在捕捉真实性 so maybe he's capturing reality after all.
你认为呢？ What do you think?
我认为人不应该去咬喂他吃饭的手 I think people shouldn't bite the hand that feeds them.
这什么意思？ Excuse me?
意思是说，多亏了这么一个海滩派对的偶然奇遇 I mean, thanks to a chance encounter at a beach party,
你钓上了一个世界顶尖级的摄影师 you hook up with one of the world's top fashion photographers.
去坐头等舱，去看异国风情 First class travel, exotic locations.
真是让你找到了宝 You really hit quite the jackpot.
你认为这就是我跟他在一起的原因？ You think that's why I'm with him?
很明显的出于不是对他创作的仰慕 Well, it's obviously not out of respect for his work.
你总是这么快就批判别人吗？ Do you always judge people so quickly?
我没有在批判你 I'm notjudging you.
没有吗？ No?
还是因为你在批判萨莎 Then maybe you're judging Sasha.
你似乎认为有人愿意跟他在一起的原因 You seem to think the only reason
是为了他的金库 someone might be with him is for this 'jackpot.'
停这就好了 This is fine.
谢谢你送我 Thanks for the ride.
我很荣幸来欢迎你们参加本年度的 I would like to welcome you all to this year's
“抵抗危机的全球暖化”服装义卖会 'Fashion Against the lmpending Threat of lobal Warming.'
没有什么是比世界贫穷更重要的事了 There is nothing more important right now, than global poverty.
我是指暖化 I mean in the warming sense.
实际上，我刚和多纳泰拉谈了 Actually, I was just talking to Donatella.
- 对不起，我迟到了，他来了吗？ - 还没 - Sorry, I'm late. So is he here? - Not yet.
- 泰露拉上哪儿去了？ - 去了洗手间 - Where's Talullah? - In the bathroom.
她吃了很多肉丁巧克力快 She's been eating large quantities of hash brownies.
- 又一次？ - 是啊 - Again? - Yeah.
所以，不要再耽搁了，我来介绍 So with no further ado, I would like to introduce
任何一位英国知名人士 any available British celebrity!
我是说，安古斯·比顿！ I mean... Angus Deaton!
- 骚货！ - 贱人！ - Bitch! - Wanker!
谢谢，谢谢大家，以及费莉西蒂女士 Thank you and thank you to Felicity for all her.
积丝！你看上去真美！ Jacks! You look so pretty!
我觉得你非常，非常的美，积丝 I think you're very, very pretty Jacks.
谢谢你，泰露拉 Thank you, Talullah.
你觉得你也很漂亮 I think you're very pretty too.
但是没有自由的妻子漂亮 But not as pretty as Freedom's wife!
我肯定你比自由的妻子漂亮多了 I'm sure you're far prettier than Freedom's wife.
你这样说是因为你是个基佬！ You're just saying that because you're a POOF!
泰露拉! 你哪里不对劲？ Talullah! What's wrong with you?
基因 Enetics.
- 你好，琼斯！ - 是积丝，妈妈！ - Hello, Jones. - It's Jacks, Mother!
- 你看起来很漂亮 - 谢谢，您也是 - You look lovely! - Thank you. So do you!
我不是！ I don't!
我太白了 I'm pasty white.
为什么我不是个黑人？ Why wasn't I born black?
第一个是克劳斯·法斯宾德先生捐出的 OK, first up then we have an outfit called
冰雪之梦的晚礼服 Ice Dream donated by Klaus Fassbinder!
开始叫价，起价为1000英镑 Let's start the bidding. If you would at 1,000 pounds.
谢谢这位先生 Thank you, sir.
大卫来纽约的航班一定被延迟了 David's flight from New York must have been delayed.
可他随时都会到 But he should be here at any minute.
他对我告诉他的事情很感兴趣 He was very intrigued by what I told him!
什么，你告诉他了什么？ What, what you told him?
你知道的，你怎样在宾馆里遇上他 You know, about how you saw him at the hotel
怎样对他一见钟情，你又怎样怎样的抢手 and it was love at first sight! And what a catch you are.
还有现在也是你找个男朋友的时候了 How it's about time you found yourself a nice boyfriend!
你这都告诉他了？ You told him all that?
他看起来受宠若惊，保罗！ He seemed very flattered Paul!
1500英镑 1,500 pounds.
1500英镑，还有没有人叫价？ Any advance on 1,500 pounds?
第一次，第二次… Oing once, going twice...
10000英镑！ 10,000 pounds!
别碰我的裙子！ Don't touch the dress!
10000英镑！还有没有人叫价？ Any advance on 10,000 pounds.
没有吗？ No?
第一次，第二次， Oing once. Oing twice!
成交！ 10,000 pounds!
我只是开个玩笑，玩玩而已！ I was only joking. I was just kidding!
一个小玩笑，好玩罢了！ I was only joking. It was a joke.
做善事嘛！ Charity!
你好，哦，嘿，詹姆斯 Hello? Oh, hi James.
- 我住这儿的吗？ - 是，我住在这儿 - Do I live here? - No, I live here.
哦，你好吗？ Oh, how do you do?
哦，皮特，我好难受 Oh, Peter, I feel so bad.
来，喝这个 C'mon, drink this.
不，我说我为你感到难受 No, I mean about you.
因为我，你不能见到你的小威廉姆斯 Not getting to meet Robbie Williams because of me.
没关系 It's OK.
我是爱的天使… I'm loving angels instead...
- 我们的病人怎样？ - 她还没死 - How's our patient? - She'll live.
- 对了，我有好消息 - 真的哦，什么消息？ - Well, I have great news! - Oh yes, what?
- 你知道詹姆斯在纽约 - 是啊，那就是好消息？ - You know James is in New York. - Yes, that is great news.
你猜他在艺术品拍卖会上碰见了谁 Who guess he ran into at one of the Art Auctions over there.
- 谁？ - 大卫·威廉姆斯! - Who? - David Williams!
老天，请求你告诉我他什么也没说！ OK! Please, please tell me he didn't say anything!
- 他应该什么都不说吗？ - 哦，我的老天 - Was he not meant to say anything? - Oh, my god!
我暗恋他的事迹已经传到了 News of my crush has just travelled across
大西洋 the Atlantic Ocean!
大卫·威廉姆斯一定觉得 我是个极需要人爱的变态 David Williams must think I'm a needy, desperate freak!
不过说实在的，假装你不是的也没有用 Well, there's no point in pretending to be something you're not!
你想要去哪儿？ Where do you think you're going?
我刚刚想起来，我要去修指甲 I just remembered. I need a pedicure.
泰露拉，就这一次，你自己涂脚趾甲好吗？ Talullah. I think just this once, you should paint your own toenails.
怎么可能？ Don't be ridiculous!
我怎么可以弯腰弯这么低？ I need a lot more incentive to bend over that far.
那里有指甲油 There's nail polish here.
- 这里是沙龙吗？ - 是的 - Oh, are we at the salon? - Yes.
- 可以去吃午饭了吗？ - 当然可以 - Ready for lunch? - Sure am!
一切都好吧？ Is everything OK?
哦，对啊，都好，一根头发没少 Oh yeah. Fine. T-cells unchanged.
心脏还在运作，一切都好 Liver holding up. Everything's great.
所以说在你虚弱的美貌下 你其实跟牛一样强壮 So despite your fragile beauty, you're actually built like an ox.
是啊 O figure.
你听到关于大卫的新闻没有？ Did you hear the news about David?
有，泰露拉的妈妈告诉我他没能来 Yes. Talullah's Mother told me he never even showed.
这就证明了我的理论 Which actually proves my theory he must think
他觉得我是个变态偷窥狂 I'm a stalker freak.
我相信他不是这么认为的 I'm sure he doesn't think that.
在短短的3周里 他就听说了无数次关于我对他的着迷 Fin, in 3 short weeks he's heard about my desperate obsession
芬，先从你那儿，泰露拉的妈妈那儿 现在还从詹姆斯那儿 from you, from Talullah's mother, and now from James,
还传到了纽约！ all the way in New York!
看看这个！ Read this!
大卫不能来是因为 他有事要待在纽约办公室里 David didn't show because he had to stay in New York.
因为他被普升去了纽约的办公室 Because he was promoted to Sotheby's New York office.
满意了吗？ Satisfied?
真不敢相信我把他逼出了国 I can't believe I drove him out the country.
走吧 Come on.
积丝. Jacks.
你有没有想过，这些所谓的真爱 Have you ever thought this whole 'true love' thing
可能全是一个阴谋 might be a conspiracy?
- 阴谋？ - 没错，一个资本主义的阴谋 - A conspiracy? - Yeah, a capitalist conspiracy.
一个电影业，出版业，媒体所操控的谎言 A lie concocted by the Film, Publishing and Music industries.
宣传着这个从未存在过的概念 All pushing this thing, this concept that doesn't even exist!
你说真爱是不存在的？ True love doesn't exist?
是啊，你想想看 Well, think about it.
除了歌曲，书本，电影里面，它还在哪里？ Where is it besides songs, books and films?
我是说，有谁能真实地说“我会永远爱你”？ I mean, who can honestly say 'I will always love you? '
- Whitnet Houston能 - 对，在她神志不清的时候 - Whitney Houston? - Yeah, when she's high on crack.
就是说，每个人都很可悲 因为他们都在寻找着 The point is, Everyone's miserable because they're looking for
一个不存在的东西 不然他们自己就会觉得很可悲 this nonexistent 'thing,' or else they're miserable
因为他们不能满足 because they think they've settled for less.
我并不可悲，所以我相信真爱 I'm not miserable. And I believe in true love.
没错，这就是你现在还跟你前男友睡的原因 Yeah, which is why you're still sleeping with your ex-boyfriend.
在播“蒂芬尼的早餐”，想不想看？ 'Breakfast at Tiffany's' is on. Wanna watch?
我刚刚告诉过你电影抹煞了我去爱的动力 I just told you films have destroyed my ability to love.
我以为那是你妈妈所做的事情 I thought that was your mother.
那倒是，过去点 Ood point. Shove over.
这是你最喜欢的电影？ This is your favorite film?
看着我，这还看不出来吗？ Look at me. Can't you tell?
- 达芙妮在哪儿？ - 出去了 - Where's Daphne? - Out.
我能帮她传话吗？ Can I give her a message?
这些是摄影通告的联系电话单 These are the contact sheets from the shoot.
我选了几张好的 I've marked my selects.
告诉达芙妮我的助理保罗是负责这个的 Tell Daphne my assistant Paolo is handling the retouching,
如果她需要更多冲印的话 就打他工作室的电话 so if she needs any other prints, she can call him at the lab.
好的 OK.
如果她想联系我 我会在巴黎和我男朋友一起 And if she needs me, I'll be at my boyfriend's in Paris.
- 保罗？ - 他怎么了？ - Paolo? - What about him?
保罗不是你的男朋友？ Paolo isn't your boyfriend?
为什么你会觉得他是我男朋友？ Why would you think he was my boyfriend?
从他的谈话中猜测的 I just assumed. Talking to Paolo.
- 真的？ - 对不起 - Really? - I'm sorry.
不用说对不起，亲爱的 No need to be sorry, carino!
你不是第一个这样看保罗的人 You're not the first person who gets this impression from Paolo.
说实话，我觉得他对我有点心动 To be honest, I think maybe he had a little crush on me.
我很荣幸，如果我不是已经有… I'm very flattered of course, and if I wasn't already involved.
你知道吗，这都是时机，不是吗？ But, you know, it's all about timing, no?
现在，我得去赶火车 And right now, I have a train to catch! Ciao ciao!
再…见… Ciao, ciao.
看起来很不错 These look great.
保罗… Paolo.
那天晚上我很抱歉 Look, I'm sorry about the other night.
萨莎都告诉我了，我觉得我像个傻子 Sasha told me everything and I feel like an idiot.
你能够原谅我吗？ Could you please forgive me?
能 Yes.
你并不了解我 You don't know me.
你如果了解的话 你就知道我不会在萨莎身上讨任何便宜 If you did, you'd know I'd never take advantage of Sasha.
好了，我得走了 Anyway. I should go.
周末玩得开心！ Have a good weekend.
你也是 You, too.
- 那么我怎样才能了解你？ - 什么？ - So how do I get to know you? - What?
- 喝杯咖啡怎样？ - 咖啡？ - How about over a cup of coffee? - A cup of coffee?
就当为那天做一点小小的补偿 It's the least I could do after the other day!
再加上，周五晚上 我怎么能丢你独自在伦敦大街上 Besides, we can't have you all alone in London on a Friday night!
说得我好像留学生 You make me sound like an exchange student.
- 那不是我的本意 - 不是吗？ - I didn't mean it like that. - No?
不然像你这种人怎么会想约我喝咖啡？ Then why else would someone like you want to have a coffee with me?
我这种人？ Someone like me?
没事了，真的，我原谅你 It's OK. Really. I forgive you.
你可以不用可怜我，不用为我有罪恶感 So you can stop feeling sorry for me or guilty or whatever.
我肯定你周五晚上会有更好的事情去做 I'm sure you have better things to do on a Friday night.
事实上，像我这样的人 周五晚上没有任何的事情去做 Actually, 'someone like me' has nothing to do on a Friday night. OK?
哦，等等，现在你想说像我这样的人 Oh, but wait, now you're going to say 'someone like me'
只想和你喝咖啡 only wants to have coffee with you
因为我周五晚上没有任何事可做 because I've got nothing better to do.
我两种说法都不能赢，对吗？算了 I just can't win can I? Never mind.
实话告诉你，像我这样的人讨厌咖啡 To tell you the truth, 'someone like me' hates coffee.
我也讨厌咖啡 I hate coffee too.
可是… Este...
你从哪里学的西班牙语？ Where did you learn to speak Spanish like that?
什么？想不到出于像我这样的人之口 What? Not what you'd expect from 'someone like me? '
我发觉你很耐人寻味 I find you very confusing.
我男朋友也是这么觉得，前男友 So does my boyfriend. My ex-boyfriend.
你想不想去喝杯东西？ Do you want to get a drink?
这附近有一个很棒的餐馆 There's this amazing place near here.
今晚是南美洲之夜 Tonight's South American night.
好的，那只是因为我为我自己感到可悲 OK. But only because I feel sorry for myself,
还有我知道你肯定为我有罪恶感 and I know you must feel guilty.
真的很感激这么短的通知下能见我 I really appreciate you seeing me on such short notice.
芬利对你有很高的评价 Finlay thinks the world of you.
我对芬利有更高的评价 And I think THE WORLD of Finlay!
这样啊… Yes, well...
他说你以前在感情的问题上帮了他很多忙 He said you really sorted him out on the relationship front.
这也是我正需要的 And I could certainly use some help there.
其实，我从未真正谈过恋爱 You see I've never actually been in a relationship
除了想象力以外 except in my own head.
那样的恋爱能维持多长？ And how long did that last?
- 什么？ - 想象中的恋爱 - What? - The relationship in your head.
不是，我是说，这是一个长期问题 No. I mean, it's an ongoing problem.
所有东西只在我脑里 每次维持不同的时间段 They only last in my head. For varying amounts of time.
所以说你不赞成一夫一妻制？ So you have a problem with monogamy?
不，不是，那不是我的问题 No, no that. No, that's not my problem.
尼罗河不是埃及唯一的河 Denial is not a river in Egypt!
不是唯一的河，你听懂了吗？ Not a river in Egypt. D'you see what I did there?
只是一个心理学上的笑话 不是每个人都懂得 Just that's a little therapistjoke. Doesn't always work.
- 好了，保罗 - 皮特 - OK, right. Paul? - Peter.
- 什么？ - 我叫皮特 - Sorry? - Peter.
皮特，皮特，是，你是 你的确是皮特 Peter. Peter. Yes, it is. You're absolutely right. Peter.
这是个很好的开始，做得非常好，皮特 That's a good start. Well done you!
我认为我能帮到你 I think I can help you.
- 你能？ - 我能 - You do? - I do.
我认为你还维持在一段感情的最早阶段 I think you are stuck in that pre relationship
一个迷恋的阶段，你需要知道 moment of infatuation and you need to be reminded
一段真正的感情是有很多不同的阶段 that a real relationship has many, many, many more stages.
不同的阶段？我喜欢 Stages. I like that.
一段感情最好用放屁来衡量 Relationships are best measured by farting.
你说什么？ Excuse me?
感情的不同阶段用放屁的不同阶段来作比喻 The stages of a relationship can be defined by farting.
第一阶段是有预谋的沉默 Stage 1 is the conspiracy of silence.
这是一个双方都假装 This is a fantasy period where both parties pretend
他们没有排泄废气的梦幻阶段 that they have no bodily waste.
但这阶段很快的被第一句小声的质问 This illusion is very quickly shattered by that first shy
“你放屁了吗？” 给抹煞掉，紧接着是老实坦诚的回答 'ooh did you fart? ' followed by the sheepish admission of truth.
我喜欢把这段亲密的时刻 This heralds a period of deeper intimacy.
叫做“屁的蜜月期” A period I like to call the 'fart honeymoon'.
这是双方都觉得对方的屁是世界上 Where both parties find each other's gas just the cutest thing
最可爱的东西 in the world.
当然，没有蜜月期是永恒的 But of course no honeymoon can last forever.
所以我们来到了最关键的时刻 And so we reach the critical fork in the fart.
当这个屁已经失去了 它能讨好的威力，如果还不觉得丢脸 Either the fart loses its power to amuse and embarrass,
就象征着真爱，不然的话 thereby signifying true love or else,
它就开始变得恼人，恶心 it begins to annoy and disgust.
代表着之前的爱已经被堵塞 Thereby symbolizing all that is blocked and rancid
变得腐臭不堪 in the formerly beloved.
你懂不懂我想说的意思？ Do you see what I'm getting at?
皮特？皮特？ Peter? Peter?
醒过来，皮特？ Earth to Peter?
- 什么？ - 对不起，我迟到了 - What? - Sorry I'm late.
我刚刚和托尼聊天 I was talking to Tony.
谁是托尼？ Who's Tony?
你知道的，电话局的那个托尼 You know. Tony. From the phone company.
你在和你电话偷窥狂谈恋爱？ You're seeing your obscene phone caller?
我当然没有跟他谈“恋爱” Of course I'm not 'seeing him', darling.
我们的关系是局限于用电话谈话 We're having a strictly phone-based relationship.
到底怎么了？ So what's going on?
芬利觉得我需要去看看他的心理专家 Finlay thinks I should see his therapist.
芬利在看心理专家？ Finlay sees a therapist?
对啊，有个女人对他感情上的事很有帮助 Yeah, some woman he says is really good with relationships.
也许我该去看看她 Maybe I should see her.
我想我应该与我内心深处 那份童真结合在一起 I think I need to get in touch with my inner child.
泰露拉，如果你真想变得有童真 Talullah, if you get in touch with your inner child
你就需要一个保姆 you're going to need an inner nanny.
我不信任保姆，她们全都是婊子！ Oh, I don't trust nannies. They're all whores!
- 那玛丽·波平斯呢 - 她是个骚货！ （玛丽·波平斯：音乐之声女主人公） - What about Mary Poppins? - Slut!
你在说什么？ What are you talking about?
她离开了修女院，嫁给了克里斯托弗·普卢默 She left the convent, married Christopher Plummer,
还把他的孩子全带去了德国 and then took all his children up the Alps.
说起音乐之声，积丝呢？ Speaking of The Sound of Music, where's Jacks?
混乱笼罩了整个布宜诺斯艾利斯 The riots completely shut down Buenos Aires.
真不可思议！ It was unbelievable!
这个国家的每一人 富有的，贫穷的，男女老少 The whole country, rich, poor, young, old,
都在这时刻聚在了一起 everyone for this one moment, came together.
- 这真是太棒了 - 是这一时刻太棒了 - These are incredible! - The moment was incredible.
你捕捉到了这时刻 You captured the moment.
我朋友芬利有个画展 我很想把这些给他看 My friend Finlay owns an art gallery. I'd love to show these to him.
- 你很客气，但是… - 客气？我吗？为什么？ - That's very kind of you but... - Very kind of me? What?
你觉得我在安慰你吗？ You think you're some kind of charity case?
- 不，不，我只是… - 别告诉我你在怕 - No, but... I just... - Don't tell me you're afraid.
我是怕你醉了 I'm afraid you're drunk.
因为我不够资格评论的你才华？ Because I think you're talented?
因为你喝了3杯鸡尾酒 Because you've had 3 caiperinhas.
- 你会跳探戈吗？ - 会啊，怎么了？ - Do you know how to tango? - Yeah. Why?
因为，大家都知道 一个醉了的人是不能跳探戈 Because, everyone knows you can't be drunk and tango.
所以如果我能跳探戈，就证明我没醉 So if I can tango, then I'm not drunk.
我就可以把你的照片给芬利看 And I get to show your pictures to Finlay.
那么你就是对的，我不会跟任何人说 Well, then you're right and I won't tell a soul.
请… Tambien...
芬利的事怎样啊？ So about my friend Finlay.
- 那告诉我你的秘密吧 - 什么秘密？ - So tell me your secret. - What secret?
一个美国人怎么能说一口流利的西班牙语 How an American can speak like a Spaniard and dance
还有像阿根廷人一样地跳舞 like an Argentinean.
- 我不是美国人 - 不是吗？ - I'm not American. - No?
不，严格上说不是，我在英国出生 Well, not technically. I was born in England.
我爸爸是英国人，我妈妈是西班牙人 My Father was English. My Mother was Spanish.
我跟我妈妈那边的亲人一起在美国长大 I grew up with my Mother's family in America.
在我父母去逝之后 After my parents died.
你几岁的时候去的美国？ How old were you when you moved to America?
5岁 Five.
- 对不起，我不是故意去揭你的往事 - 没关系 - I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry. - It's not that.
只是我不想被当成某个电影里的 It's just I don't want to be one of those awful characters
在小提琴的伴奏下吐出悲惨往事的烂角色 out of a movie that gushes out their past while the violins play.
我有个不幸的5岁童年 I mean I had a bad age five.
一个很糟糕的5岁童年 I had a terrible age five, actually.
真是一卦接一卦 在那以后我的生活都很幸运 But all in all, since then, my life's been pretty blessed.
- 你现在一个人住吗？ - 不，我跟皮特一起住 - So do you live alone? - No, I live with Peter.
- 哦，你男朋友？ - 哦，不，他是我最好的朋友 - Oh? Your boyfriend? - Oh od no! He's my best friend.
我们同一个大学，他是同志 We went to college together. He's gay.
所有的好男人都是… All the good ones are...
你应该见见他，他是个很棒的作家 You should meet him actually. He's a brilliant writer.
舞台剧作家，这是他的梦想 Screenplays. Well, that's the goal at least.
他是我认识的所有男人里 最甜，最幽默，心肠最好的 He's just the sweetest, funniest, kindest guy I know.
如果他不是同志的话 我早八百年就跟他结婚了 If he wasn't gay, I'd have married him years ago.
- 他听起来很不错 - 他是很不错 - He sounds wonderful. - He is!
你明天有事吗？ What are you doing tomorrow?
明天？没事 Tomorrow? Nothing.
想一起吃个饭吗？ You wanna have dinner?
哦，好啊 Oh, sure!
那好，8点整过来我家 Reat! Come over at 8!
找到了！ Ta da!
对了，今晚我过得很开心 Well, I had an amazing time tonight.
我也是 Me, too.
再见！ Bye!
我从未在早上散过步 I've never been for a walk in the morning before.
起码来纽约了就没有过 At least, not since I've been in New York...
- 嘿，宝贝！ - 嘿！ - Hey, babies! - Hi!
- 你在干嘛？ - 看《蒂芬尼的早餐》 - What are you doing? - Watching 'Breakfast at Tiffany's.'
- 又看？ - 我在做研究 - Again? - Yeah, I'm doing research.
别做研究了 Stop doing research and would you write
开始写你该死的剧本去吧 your goddamn screenplay!
你发现没有，这书里面那位男主角是同志？ Did you realize, in the book, the male character's gay?
这就是为什么他们有这么深厚的友谊 That's why they have such an amazing friendship.
因为他让她有安全感 Because she feels safe with him.
可是在电影里，他是异性恋 她只会戴好看的帽子 Whereas in the film, he's straight and she just wears gorgeous hats.
说到好看，我遇见了 一个最帅的阿根廷男孩！ Speaking of gorgeous, I just met the cutest Argentinean boy.
哦，是吗？ Oh, yeah?
他是个绝对的帅哥 He's absolutely gorgeous.
很体贴，很有才，还很会跳探戈！ And sweet and smart. And an amazing tango dancer!
那在现在的社会上很实用 That's very useful in today's world.
而且他还很有天赋 是个出色的摄影师 Who also happens to be an exceptionally talented photographer.
这是不是表示你终于放下了詹姆斯 Oh! Does this mean we're finally over James?
- 詹姆斯？他是同志 - 詹姆斯是同志？！ - James? He's gay! - James is gay?!
不，保罗是，保罗是同志 No, Paolo. Paolo is gay.
他做过萨莎的助理，你知道那位摄影师 He's been assisting for Sasha, you know the fashion photographer
而且我以为他们两个之间有暧昧 and I thought that they were, you know, sleeping together
但现在没有了 but now they're not.
而且他很想见你，他在伦敦谁也不认识 And he really wants to meet you. He doesn't know anyone in London.
我告诉他你会跟他一起吃顿饭 And I told him that you'd have dinner with him...
- 什么？ - 明天，这对你来说是好事 - What? - Tomorrow. It'll be good for you.
可以不让你胡思乱想 It'll take your mind off.
积丝！要我去是绝对没可能的 Jacks! There is absolutely no way I am going
不可能被你劝去相亲，回答是“不”！ on another blind date. The answer's no!
嘿，保罗！ Paolo! Hi!
请进，请进 Come in! Come in!
恐怕我得赶时间 I'm afraid I'm running late!
哦，真漂亮，可皮特最讨厌花了 Oh, these are lovely, but Peter hates flowers.
我们就当作是为我买的 We'll pretend they're for me.
你想喝点什么？ Can I get you something to drink?
香槟？ Champagne?
好的 Sure.
今天过得怎样？ So, how was your Saturday?
- 保罗？ - 嗯？ - Paolo? - What?
你今天做了什么？ What did you do today?
哦，对，我去了泰特 Oh, yeah. I went to the Tate.
那个博物馆，现代博物馆 The Museum. The Tate Modern Museum.
- 第一次去吗？ - 是的 - Your first time? - Yep.
然后呢？你觉得如何？ And? What did you think?
我是说，视觉上来说还满美妙的，是吧？ I mean, it's pretty amazing visually. Right?
建筑方面 The way it's built.
很惊人，是吧？ Isn't itjust visually stunning?
保罗，你觉得呢？ Don't you think, Paolo?
是！ Yeah!
我听不见，你能过来一点吗？ Paolo, I can't hear you. Can you come back here?
我不想叫那么大声 I don't want to have to scream.
- 你还做了什么？ - 泰特博物馆之后 So what else did you? After the Tate Modern?
对不起，我不是故意要…我马上关门 I'm sorry, I didn't... I'll just close the door.
哦，没关系的 Oh, it's fine!
我和皮特最有趣的聊天纪录都是 Peter and I always have our best conversations
在我沐浴的时候 when I'm in the bath.
- 皮特？ - 积丝？ - Peter? - Jacks?
糟糕！ Shit!
- 积丝! - 我马上出来！ - Jacks! - I'll be right out!
- 那是皮特吗？ - 不，詹姆斯，帮我一个忙 - Is that Peter? - No. James. Do me a favour.
出去告诉他我5点之前出来 O out and tell him I'll be out in 5.
最后把门带上 And close the door behind you.
嘿，对不起，我… 积丝在沐浴 Hi, sorry, I... Jacks is in the bath.
她说5点之前会出来 She says she'll be out in 5.
- 你哪位？ - 保罗·萨缅托 - Who are you? - Paolo Sarmiento.
我，我跟积丝一起工作 I, I work with Jacks.
- 詹姆斯! - 皮特，你好 - James! - Peter. Hi.
- 你好？ - 嘿，皮特，我是保罗 - Hello? - Hi, Peter. I'm Paolo.
保罗，你好 Paolo. Hi.
你好，我听说过你很多事情 Hi! I've heard so much about you.
真的？ Really?
- 积丝去哪儿了 - 很显然在沐浴 - Where's, where's Jacks? - In the bath, apparently.
这样啊，我失陪一下 Right. Excuse me for a second?
- 他在这里干嘛？ - 他刚从纽约飞回来 - What's he doing here? - He just flew back from New York.
我不是指詹姆斯，我说保罗 Not James. Paolo!
- 他跟你一起吃饭 - 不，不，不可能 - He's having dinner with you. - No! No. No way.
为什么不？给我一个好的理由 Why not? Ive me one good reason.
- 太快了 - 太快？ - It's too soon. - Too soon?
- 我还没能放下大卫 - 你还不认识大卫 - I'm still not over David. - You don't even know David.
那只是表面上 That's a technicality.
在加上，有了这么多人的介绍 Besides, after everything everyone's said,
我觉得我对他已经充分了解 I feel like I know him very well.
宝贝，大卫不住在伦敦了 Babies, David doesn't even live in London anymore.
哦，你要我放弃他只是因为 Oh, so you're saying I should forget about him
地理上的间隔 purely for geographic reasons?
我是说，跟一个 你见也没见过的人谈远距离恋爱 I'm saying that I don't think it's healthy for you to have
对你来说不是一件 a long distance relationship with someone
很健康的事情 you've never even met!
怎样？要不要多点腮红？ How does that look? More blush?
- 不用了，很好 - 谢谢 - No, you're good. - Thank you.
积丝让我很吃惊 I'm afraid Jacks sort of surprised me with this.
是啊，她也让我吃惊 Yes. She surprised me too.
不过，这才我们的积丝 总是给人意外惊喜 Yeah, well, that's our Jacks! Full of surprises!
詹姆斯也是，他们在一起吗？ So is James... Are they together?
理论上，不是 Well, technically no.
但有时为了实际目的，是的 But for all practical purposes, yes.
- 我不明白 - 欢迎加入我们 - I don't understand. - Join the club.
只要是关于爱情，没人能懂积丝 When it comes to love, Jacks is completely incomprehensible.
她爱他吗？ So does she love him?
疯了？就是因为我不喜欢看见异性恋男人 I suppose, in a way, she must.
我不觉得她很喜欢他 I just don't think she likes him very much.
现在想想积丝从来不跟 But come to think of it, Jacks never goes out with men
自己喜欢的人去约会 she actually likes.
你疯了 You're insane.
疯了？因为我不喜欢看见异性恋男人 Why, because I don't like you having strange men with you
看见你沐浴？ while you're in the bath?
- 詹姆斯，他是同性恋 - 真好，又是一个基佬！ - Jams, he's gay, for od sakes! - Reat, another poof.
你从什么时候起这么排斥同性恋？ Since when did you become homophobic?
从我发现只有同性恋才可以接近你 Since I realized being gay is the only way to be intimate with you.
别说傻话 Don't be absurd.
真不敢相信我向你说了我与大卫·威廉姆斯 I can't believe I've just vomited the entire saga of
想象中的光辉爱情史 my imaginary love life with David Williams.
我很喜欢，就像看电影一样 I enjoyed it. It's like a movie.
- 是，但你一定觉得我疯了 - 没错 - Yeah, but you must think I'm crazy. - Yes.
可我喜欢疯子 But I like crazy people.
是吗？我也是 Yeah? So do I.
你说自己说够了，说说你对我的想法 But enough about me. What do you think about me?
没有，我开玩笑的 不，其实我是认真的，不，开玩笑的 No, I'm joking. No, I'm not. No, I was.
塞姆，我们能再来些啤酒吗？ Sam, can we have some sambucca, please?
别接 我应该接 - Don't answer. - I really should.
为什么？ 可能很重要 - Why? - It might be somebody.
嘿，泰露拉！哦，亲爱的，等一下 Hello? Talullah! Oh sweetie. Hold on a sec.
是泰露拉，她可能有情绪危机 It's Talullah. She's having a crisis.
真他妈的不寻常 How bloody unusual.
好，告诉我发生了什么事？ OK. Tell me exactly what happened.
他不跟我打电话了 He's stopped calling.
- 谁？自由？ - 托尼 - Freedom? - Tony.
谁是托尼？ Who's Tony?
你知道的，电话局的那个托尼 You know. Tony from the phone company.
一直给你打电话的那个变态？ The psycho who was making obscene calls?
一点也不恶心，很甜蜜 They weren't obscene! They were sweet.
这是多么完美啊！ It was the perfect relationship.
我不用担心自己胖 自己丑，他也不是贪我的钱 I never felt ugly or fat. I knew he wasn't with me for my money.
- 我想他，积丝！ - 泰露拉，别荒缪了 - I miss him, Jacks! - Talullah, don't be ridiculous.
我不能控制我的感情！ I can't help how I feel!
为什么总是要在我爱上一个男人之后 Why is it as soon as I fall in love with a man,
他就抛弃我？ he abandons me?
你根本不爱托尼！ You don't love Tony!
我爱啊，我真的爱托尼 Yes I do! I do love Tony.
我做错了什么？ What did I do wrong?
那好吧，就让我们沉浸在童话里 OK. Let's indulge this sick fantasy.
你对你那位白马王子说的最后一句话是什么？ What's the last thing you said to Prince Charming?
“再缠着我的话，我就要叫警察了！” 'Stop pestering me or I'll call the police! '
我们到了 Oh, this is us.
想不想上楼来喝杯东西？ Do you want to come upstairs for another drink?
我想啊，可我不能 I want to, but I probably shouldn't.
我明天7点要到工作室 I have to be at the lab at 7.
- 哦，好吧，那就…. - 看见你我真得很开心 - Oh, OK. Well... - But I really enjoyed meeting you.
我也是 So did I.
- 你没事吧？ - 我的天，我的天啊！ - Are you OK here? - Oh my od! Oh od!
- 你不…我… - 我真抱歉 - You don't! I... - I'm so sorry!
对不起，对不起，我以为… I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry. I was just...
- 我太丢脸了 - 不，听我说，皮特 - I'm really embarrassed. - No, no, no, listen, Peter.
我很喜欢你，但是… I really like you a lot, but...
但是只是友谊上的喜欢 But you don't like me in that way.
听我说，我知道你要说什么 Look, I know that speech.
因为我也总是这么说 I use that speech because I actually wrote that speech...
我不是同性恋 I'm not gay.
- 这个我倒没说过 - 我是异性恋 - I didn't write that part! - I'm straight.
什么时候的事？ Since when?
我想大概是我8岁起注意到的 I suppose I first noticed when I was around 8.
我以为那只是一个成长段，可到最后 I thought it was just a phase, you know, but eventually
我必须接受现实，我喜欢女人 I had to accept the truth. I like women.
哦，这真好，这真是太好了 Oh this is good! This is really good.
你知道吗？积丝从来做不了媒婆 You know, Jacks is useless at fixing people up...
- 积丝以为我是同性恋？ - 哦，她当然以为 - Jacks thought I was gay? - Oh she sure did.
这回我一定要好好修理她 And I'm really going to enjoy making her feel stupid about this one.
不，请不要 No! Please don't.
我想我应该自己告诉她 I think I should tell her myself.
你对积丝… You and Jacks?
你对，对积丝有？ You and, you and Jacks?
天啊 Oh my od!
哦，放心，我什么也不会说 Oh, look, I... I... I won't say a word. I promise.
- 谢谢你 - 我发誓 - Thanks. - Cross my heart.
- 我该走了 - 对，是的 - I should go. - Yeah. Yes.
- 晚安 - 晚安 - Oodnight. - Oodnight.
你回去跟积丝说了什么？ So what did you say to Jacks when you got back?
- 什么都没说，她不在家 - 但是你会跟她说的 - Nothing, she wasn't there. - But you're going to tell her.
对不起，我来晚了 Sorry, I'm late!
我真在读一本绝对激荡回肠的小说 I was in the middle of an absolutely gripping book.
我停不下来 I couldn't put it down.
是吗，那是什么书？ Oh, what book's that?
我的回忆录，我决定去发表 My memoirs, darling. I've decided to publish.
一杯血红玛丽，别太红 Bloody Mary please. Light on the bloody.
- 积丝去哪儿了？ - 陪詹姆斯过周末 - Where's Jacks? - Spending the weekend with James.
- 老天，真恶心！ - 说话好听的 - Oh od, how disgusting! - Be nice.
抱歉，但詹姆斯·魏尔德斯通 这个人代表着我所有厌恶的象征 I'm sorry, but James Wildstone stands for absolutely everything I despise.
我还以为他是你家里人的好朋友 I thought he was a good friend of your family?
这就是原因 Exactly my point.
我们不能评论，可能他的床上功夫了得 Well, we shouldn'tjudge. Maybe he's good sex.
怎么可能，他是个小儿科 Oh, don't be absurd. He's public school.
他可能喜欢被鞭打 So he probably likes being spanked.
或者被鸡奸，或者两样都有 Or buggered. Or both.
- 听起来挺过瘾的 - 我也这么觉得 - Sounds like good sex to me. - And me!
其实我也这么觉得 And me actually.
我真不敢相信他会迟到 打萨莎的手机 I can't believe he's so late! Pandora, try Sasha's mobile.
- 我5分钟前打过了 - 再打一次 - I tried it 5 minutes ago. - Try again.
再发一个留言 And leave another message.
你有他巴黎男朋友的电话吗？ Do you have his boyfriend's number in Paris?
他昨晚刚从巴黎回来 He got back from Paris last night.
他这周末和男朋友分了手 He broke up with his boyfriend this weekend.
- 分手了？他还好吧？ - 不怎么好 - He did? Is he OK? - Not really.
没关系的，积丝，萨莎总是会来的 But Jacks, look, it'll be fine. Sasha always turns up.
- 我又发了个短讯 - 谢谢你，潘朵拉 - I left another message. - Thanks, Pandora.
我昨晚跟皮特在一起很愉快 So I had a nice evening with Peter the other night.
天啊，这是真的吗？他很不错吧？ Oh my od! Really? Isn't he great?
聪明，幽默，又可爱 Smart, funny and cute.
对，他很令人愉快 Yes, he's absolutely lovely.
达芙妮呢？ Where's Daphne?
她去了法院，今天是我负责 She had to go to court today. She left me in charge.
谁装上了这些灯？ Who put up those lights?
是我，我以为你可能会需要用来摄影 I did, I thought you might want them in the shot.
你以为就装上了？ 你是来服从我的命令的！ You're not here to think! You're here to do what I think! OK?
所以你现在把它们拿下来 再给我装上日光灯！ So now you take all this down and you bring me a ring light.
潘朵拉，潘朵拉在哪儿？在哪儿？ Pandora? Where is Pandora? Where is it?
这里 Here.
你的工作是什么？ What's yourjob?
服饰助理 I'm a wardrobe assistant.
服饰助理？你是一坨屎！ A wardrobe assistant? No, you're a piece of shit!
竟敢每10分钟给我打一次手机 How dare you call my mobile every 10 minutes
还没完没了地发短讯 and leave me endless messages.
我要她打的，萨莎，我们很担心你 I told her to call, Sasha! We were worried.
你晚了 我知道我晚了！ - You were late. - I know I was late!
但也轮不到一个打杂的 I just don't need a nobody leaving me
没完没了地发短讯来提醒我！ endless messages about it!
- 我知道你过了一个很糟糕的周末… - 不，你不知道 - I understand you had a rough weekend... - No, you don't understand!
你什么也不知道！ You understand nothing!
我建议你别管你不懂的事 And I suggest you stop meddling with things
管好你份内的事 you don't understand, and just do yourjob!
不管那是什么样的狗屁东西 Whatever the hell that is.
我不知道，去烫些东西什么的！ I don't know, go steam something!
萨莎！ Sasha!
积丝，他不是故意的 Jacks, he doesn't mean that...
- 别跟她解释我有意无意的 - 别这样跟她说话！ - Don't you tell her what I mean! - Don't speak to her like that.
滚出去，你被开除了 听见了吗？你被开除了！ Et out! You're fired! You heard me? You're fired!
滚回你的阿根廷去！ O back to Argentina!
带走你那些可悲的影集！ You and your little pathetic snapshots!
再见！ Bye bye!
还有人想发表意见的吗？ Anyone else have something to say?
我想 I have something to say.
- 道歉！ - 你说什么？ - Apologize! - I'm sorry?
我说了，跟他道歉 I said apologize!
- 你疯了吗？ - 当然 - Are you insane? - Obviously!
在Vogue杂志社工作的 都是疯子，别转移话题！ I work at Vogue! But don't change the subject!
- 道歉 - 不然的话？ - Apologize. - Or else?
不然的话我现在就把所有服装拿走！ Or else, I'm walking out with all those dresses.
哦，我有更好的主意，我走 Oh! I have a better idea. I will do the walking out thing.
然后看看达芙妮会怎么说！ And let's see what Daphne has to say about that!
保罗，我能求你一件事吗？ Paolo, can I ask a favour?
啊，经典的时刻，劣势中的男主角 Ah, the classic movie moment when the underdog gets to prove
证明了他的能力，然后赢得芳心 his real worth and win the heart of his true love!
别把结尾说出来嘛！ Don't give away the ending!
这是爱情喜剧，还能有什样的结局？ It's a romantic comedy! How do you think it ends?
嘿，亲爱的，你好吗？ Hi, sunshine, how are you?
我今天过了超不寻常的一天 I just had the most surreal day.
我狠狠地顶撞了萨莎 I had a huge fight with Sasha.
保罗帮忙拍摄的，而且他很棒！ Paolo took over the shoot, and he was absolutely brilliant.
我可能明天就会被炒 I'm probably going to get fired tomorrow,
能够看见创作中的保罗就值得了 but it was so worth itjust to see Paolo in action.
天啊，这太可怕了！ Oh my od! This is so scary!
她在看什么？ What's she watching?
诺丁山 Notting Hill.
你觉得保罗怎样？ So what did you think about Paolo?
相信我没错吧？ Was I right or was I right?
我没得选吗？ Are those my only options?
哦，不，别告诉我你不喜欢他 Oh no, don't tell me you didn't like him.
我很喜欢他，只不过我不是他喜欢的类型 I liked him a lot! I'm just not sure I'm his type.
你当然是他喜欢的类型 Of course, you're his type!
他亲口告诉我，说你很令人愉快 He told me himself he thought you were 'lovely.'
我倒没想到这个 Well, I didn't see that coming!
什么？ What?
茱丽娅·罗伯茨跟休·格兰特在一起！ Julia Roberts ending up with Hugh rant!
你知道吗，积丝 当我要你负责摄影通告的时候 You know, Jacks. When I told you to take care of the shoot,
我想的是让你去订订寿司什么的 I was thinking more along the lines of ordering the sushi,
不是把我们顶尖的摄影师给气走 not enraging our top photographer.
萨莎是个自大的怪兽，也不关我事 I can't help it if Sasha's an overpampered monster.
传媒里，每个人都是个自大的怪兽 We work in fashion. Everyone's an overpampered monster.
没错，可是那也不是 可以怎么恶毒对人的借口 Yes, but that isn't an excuse to be so vile to people.
再说了，他的作品里没有一丁点的真实性 Besides, his pictures don't have an ounce of truth to them.
什么时候潮流和真实性有关系了？ But since when does truth have anything to do with fashion?
是的，没有关系 Well, it doesn't.
但是，也许应该有 But maybe it should.
- 你就是萨莎的助理 - 是的 - So you were Sasha's assistant? - Yes.
还真像《彗星美人》 How very 'All About Eve.'
“彗星美人”？ 'All About Eve? '
是一部电影，亲爱的 It's a movie, darling.
讲的是一个看似天真清纯的助理 It's about an assistant who seems all sweet and innocent
其实具有冲动的野心 but is really quite ambitious and ruthless.
你该租来看看 You should rent it sometime.
达芙妮，我让他来帮忙的 Daphne, he was doing me a favour.
- 我看过了 - 你看过？ - I've seen it. - You have?
你认为如何？ And what did you think?
实际上，我觉得很愚蠢 I found it rather silly actually.
对于贝蒂·戴维斯会成为受害者我觉得很荒缪 The idea that Bette Davis could be the victim of anyone is absurd.
挑出4张来出版 Pick 4 and run it.
我的天啊，保罗，你太棒了！ Oh my od, Paolo! You were amazing!
谢谢，你也是 Thanks. So were you!
你搞掂了达芙妮！ The way you handled Daphne!
我知道你很有才 但没想到在你白面书生的外表下 I mean I knew you were talented, but I had no idea that under
是这么有勇气跟胆量 that shy, sweet exterior was such steely confidence!
你还有什么瞒着我的？ What other secrets are you keeping from me?
其实，积丝，我的确想跟你谈谈… Actually, Jacks, I did want to talk to you about...
- 啊，积丝，你在这儿！ - 詹姆斯？ - Ah, Jacks! There you are! - James?
你好，亲爱的 Hello, Darling!
你好？ Hello?
詹姆斯，你记不记得保罗？ James, you remember Paolo?
记得，你好，保罗 Yes. Hello, Paolo?
詹姆斯？ James?
你在这儿干嘛？ What are you doing here?
哦对，我刚在这对面吃午餐 Well, actually, I was just having lunch across the street
所以我就上来亲自告诉你个好消息 and I came to tell you the good news in person.
什么好消息？ What good news?
皮特终于要和他的真爱见面了！ Peter is finally going to meet the love of his life!
- 真的？ - 大卫·威廉姆斯在这里！ - What? - David Williams is in town.
他要为苏富比举办一个特别的拍卖会 He's leading a special auction at Sotheby's.
我刚刚跟他在一起吃饭 And he and I were just having lunch together,
然后我就“不小心”提到了皮特的名字 and I just happened to mention Peter's name.
然后他提议我们明天把皮特带去拍卖会！ And he suggested that we bring Peter to the auction tonight!
- 他提议？ - 其实是我提议的 - He did? - Well, actually, I suggested it.
他也觉得是个好主意！ But he thinks it's a great idea!
我做得好吧？ So did I do good or did I do good?
你做得太好了！ You did great.
我应该走了 I should probably go.
今天恭喜你了，保罗 Paolo, congratulations on today.
告诉皮特我祝他与大卫好运！ Tell Peter I wish him good luck with David.
积丝？ Jacks?
你在想什么？ What are you thinking?
我在想皮特和大卫过着 I'm thinking about Peter and David living
幸福的生活 happily ever after.
如果我写了部最烂的剧本怎么办？ What if I've written the worst script ever?
如果大家都讨厌怎么办？ What if everyone hates it?
听我说，大部分艺术家 都会在他们生前遭受拒绝 Look, most great artists have to deal with rejection in their lifetime.
没错，但我不是个艺术家！ Yes, I'm not a great artist!
我知道我不是樊高那样的天才 Look, I know I'm not some genius like Van ogh.
幸好你不是，我喜欢有两只耳朵的男人 Thank od. I like my men with 2 ears.
我，我是认真的 I'm, I'm being serious.
如果我真的不行？如果我真的没天赋？ What if I'm not any good? What if I have no talent?
你在问我爱不爱你吗？ Are you asking if I'll still love you?
- 快醒过来！ - 什么？ - Snap out of it will you? - What?
我们到了 We're here.
终于到了，你们晚了 There you are! You guys are late.
芬，我不太确定这是个好主意 Fin, I'm not sure this is such a good idea.
当然，这是极好的注意！ It's an excellent idea.
你们很般配，亲爱的保罗 He's perfect for you, Paul, darling!
皮特!！他的名字是皮特！ Peter! His name is Peter!
你马上要和你的真爱见面了 You're about to meet the love of your life!
往左边！ To the left!
你也不用对我那么凶啊 There is no need to be so nasty to me
我只记不住人名 just because I don't remember people's names.
感谢夫人，叫价550英镑 550 with you madam, thank you very much.
- 就是他! - 580英镑，还有没有人叫价? - That's him! - 580. Anything further on 580?
- 我看不见他 - 在那里！ - I can't see him. - There!
我现有600000美元 I have $600,000.
在电话银行里 Back to the telephone bank.
那不是他，那不是他！ That's not him. That's not him!
- 你开玩笑吧？ - 没有！ - You're kidding? - No!
那是大卫？！ - That's David? - No!
- 你确定？ - 是的！ - Are you sure? - Yes!
我不知道！ I have no idea!
那当然是大卫！他只是剪了头发 Of course that's David! He's just cut his hair.
什么头发？ What hair?
他的笑真迷人！ He's got a lovely smile!
- 他只是剪了头发 - 还减了肥！ - He's just cut his hair! - And he's lost some weight.
- 我可不这么认为，费格斯… - 是芬利才对！ - I don't think so, Fergus... - It's Finlay!
- 怎么会？ - 那根本不是他！ - What? - That is not him! OK?
那不是我在奇安瑟瑞酒店撞见的人！ That is not the man I bumped into at the Chancery Hotel.
那不是他！ That is not him!
那，他也够好了！ Well, he's good enough!
不，不，他不够好！ Oh no! No, he's not good enough!
因为，那边的那个男人 真正的大卫·威廉姆斯是存在的！ Because, that man right there, the real David Williams actually exists!
那个真正的大卫·威廉姆斯是个能走路呼吸 The real David Williams happens to be a living, breathing,
单身的同志！ on-the-market gay man!
早安，亲爱的，感觉如何？ Morning, sunshine. How you feeling?
- 全身无力，你呢？ - 还好 - Exhausted. You? - Fine.
我要去跟芬利还有 那个不是大卫的大卫吃早午餐 I'm going to brunch with Finlay and the wrong David.
我替你难过 I'm so sorry.
是为你当众让一个陌生人丢脸而难过？ Sorry you outed a total stranger
还是为他是错误的陌生人而难过？ or sorry it's the wrong total stranger?
都有 Both.
老实说，我还挺轻松的 I'm quite relieved, to be honest.
起码一切都醒了 At least it's over and done with.
- 你还好吧? - 很好 - You OK? - I'm fine.
其实我几乎整夜都在想… I was just up most of the night thinking...
在想…？ About?
哦，爱情啊，还有其他烦心的事 Oh, love and other disasters.
- 那肯定是芬利 - 替我问好 - That must be Finlay. - Send him my love.
- 我不一定要去的 - 去啦！ - I don't have to go to this thing. - O!
我马上下来！ I'll be right down.
- 早安 - 早安 - Morning. - Morning.
- 来杯咖啡吗？ - 不用了，谢谢 - Would you like some coffee? - No, thank you.
肯定是皮特，又忘记带钥匙了 That's Peter, he must have forgotten his keys.
我去冲个凉！ I'm going to take a bath.
嘿，保罗！ Paolo, hi!
- 嘿！ - 你还好？ - Hi. - Are you OK?
不怎么好，我一夜没睡 Not really. I haven't slept all night.
进来，快进来！ Come in. Come in.
我来是… It's just...
我一直想跟你谈谈我跟皮特在一起的那晚 I've been wanting to talk to you about the other night with Peter.
可每次都被一些事，一些人阻拦了 But it seems every time I'm about to, something or someone gets in the way.
对不起 I'm sorry.
不，不是你的错，只是… No! It's not your fault. It's just...
- 他不在家吧？ - 不在，他出去了 - He's not here, is he? - No. No, he's out.
很好 Ood.
- 我很难过 - 你为什么难过？ - I feel terrible. Why should you feel terrible?
我不知道你的感受 I had no idea how you felt.
你们在干什么？ What the hell is going on?
- 我真不敢相信 - 等一下！ - I don't believe it. - No, wait!
- 我不该来的 - 等一下！ - I shouldn't have come. - Wait!
- 詹姆斯，你有毛病啊？ - 我没毛病！ - James, what's wrong with you? - Nothing's wrong with me!
他只是想跟我谈谈！你有什么问题？ He needs to talk! What's your problem?
他就是我的问题！ He's my problem!
你说什么？保罗？ Excuse me? Paolo!
我不会说西班牙语，可我不是傻子 I may not speak Spanish, but I'm not an idiot.
你在说什么？ What are you talking about?
我在说你和那个该死的 保罗 I'm talking about you and that bloody Paolo.
他为皮特的事难过，来找我聊天 He was upset about Peter. He wanted to talk.
狗屁！ Bullshit!
- 什么？ - 我不要你再见他！ - What? - I want him out of your life!
- 不然？ - 不然我们就分手！ - Or else? - Or else we're through!
看到了吧 这就是我不想跟你谈恋爱的原因！ See. This is exactly why I don't want to be in a relationship with you!
真的吗？ Oh really?
那我们在做什么？这又算什么？ Then what the hell is this? What the hell are we in?
我不知道 I don't know.
这对你来说就是一场游戏，是吧？ This is just some sort of fucking game to you, isn't it?
什么游戏？ What's a game?
这个游戏，我们做爱 然后你又说不想跟我在一起 This. We fuck and then you say you don't want a relationship.
- 这不是游戏 - 不是吗？那是什么？ - It's not a game. - Oh no? Then what is it?
是… It's...
这是现实 It's the truth.
放屁！我不相信现实！ Bullshit! I don't believe it is the truth!
过去的六个月里，你总是说一套做一套 For the last six months you've been saying one thing
你根本在玩弄我的感情！ and then doing another. You've been playing me!
我没有！ No!
但是我很抱歉 But I am sorry.
为什么？ What are you sorry about?
我不想伤害你！ I didn't mean to hurt you!
真他妈的虚伪！ Fucking condescending!
我也不想这样的！ I didn't mean it like that.
我只是…想… I just... I want...
你想怎样？ What do you want?
我想结束这一切 I want this to end.
所以到头来，我不是你的意中人？ So after all that, I'm not the one?
轻松了很多吧？ Bit of a relief, huh?
大概吧 I suppose so.
你一定觉得我是个变态的偷窥狂 You must have thought I was a stalker freak.
这都得感谢我一帮忠心的朋友们 Thanks to my discreet friends.
我们只是想帮忙 We were just trying to help.
帮我塑造成一个极需要爱的幻想家 Yes, by making me out to be a desperate fantasist?
你的确是个极需要爱的幻想家 You are a desperate fantasist.
- 我不是 - 他是的 - No, I'm not actually. - He is.
我是个幻想家，可我不极需要爱 I'm a fantasist, I'm not desperate.
无论如何，我都不可以有你幻想的那么好 Well, I suppose I'd never have lived up to your fantasy anyway.
相信我，没有人可以 Trust me, David. Nobody could.
- 汤姆！ - 对不起，我晚了！ - Tom! - Sorry, I'm late!
- 汤姆，这位是皮特和芬利 - 嘿，汤姆，我想我们见过面了 - Tom, this is Peter and Finlay. - Hey, Tom. I think we've met.
- 芬利! 最近怎样？ - 很好！你呢？ - Finlay! How have you been? - Reat! And you?
没啥可抱怨的 Can't complain. Can't complain.
终于走出了艺术的天地！ Finally out of the art world!
汤姆进了演艺圈 Tom's acting now.
- 演艺圈？ - 对啊，所以我才会迟 - Acting? - Yeah, that's why I'm late.
刚刚去了一个为BBC新剧的选拔 Had an audition for a new drama at the BBC.
- 感觉如何？ - 很好，还挺好的 - How'd it go? - Ood! Well, great actually.
我很入戏，你知道吗？ I was so inside the character. You know?
然后他们要我做个独白 And then they asked for a monologue
我就做了每个人都喜欢的《欲望号街车》里面的那个 so I did that one from Streetcar which everyone loves.
跟我演对手戏的女演员，她完全不行 The actress I was doing it with, she was hopeless.
我尽力了… I was doing my best...
你没事吧？ Are you OK?
- 是他 - 是谁？ - That's him. - Who?
我在酒店里碰见的人！ That's the guy I bumped into at the Hotel!
什么？ What?
对不起 Sorry.
失陪，我要去一下洗手间 Excuse me, I just need to use the loo, actually.
- 芬利？ - 哦，我也… - Finlay? - Right! I'll just...
去给你帮帮忙！ ive you a hand!
真不敢相信你说了给我帮帮忙！ I can't believe you said 'I'll give you a hand! '
对不起，对不起！ I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
听我说，我知道发生了什么事！ But listen, I think I know what happened!
汤姆以前当过大卫的助理 Tom used to be David's assistant.
他们一定一起去的酒店 They both must have gone to the hotel,
但汤姆先把画拿了进去 but Tom arrived with the paintings on his own.
你就撞到他了！ Which is when you bumped into him!
很好！那么，我现在怎么办？ Reat! So, now what do I do?
我想，应该要先拉上裤链 Well, I'd probably zip up.
不要太过于激动了 Mustn't seem over-eager.
真不管相信你为一个 你昨天才遇见的人准备晚餐 I can't believe you're cooking dinner for some guy you just met yesterday!
他叫汤姆，俗话说 His name is Tom. You know what they say.
要控制一个男人，先要控制他的胃 'The way to a man's heart is through his stomach.'
你不觉得那要求太高了吗？ Don't you think that's aiming a bit high?
你不觉得你应该要为我的勇气而鼓掌？ Don't you think you should applaud my courage?
我会的，可我没有手了 I would but my hands are full.
那行，我走了 Anyway, I'm off.
你汤姆连也不想见见？ Don't you at least want to meet Tom?
嗯，我更喜欢保罗 Why? I prefer Paolo.
很值得再考虑一下 Maybe that's something worth considering.
你已经晚了 Little late for that.
我昨天跟你打了一天电话 I've been trying to call you since yesterday
但是你的手机不通 but your mobile isn't working.
我，我手机欠费了 I, I ran out of credit.
- 我可以进来吗？ - 当然可以 - Can I come in? - Yeah, sure.
你在干嘛？ What are you doing?
明天一早飞回阿根廷 I have to fly back to Argentina tomorrow.
- 什么？为什么？ - 我与这里格格不入 - What? Why? - I don't belong here.
你说什么？ What are you talking about?
你的事业在伦敦刚刚起步 Your career's about to take off in London.
你为Vogue做了四页摄影 You have 4 pages in the new Vogue!
我知道你对潮流的看法 OK, I know how you feel about fashion.
我也赞同你！ And I agree with you!
可是它可以用来赚钱 你可以专心做你想做的东西 But at least it'll pay the rent. While you do your own work.
我跟芬利谈过了，他说他想见你 And I've spoken to Finlay. And he wants to meet you.
他也许可以为你开一个私人画展 Maybe put a show on at his gallery for you.
- 你不能就这样走！ - 我被驱境了 - You can'tjust go home now! - I'm being deported.
移民局被通知说我是非法就业 Immigration got a tip I was working here illegally.
- 通知？被谁通知？ - 有关系吗？ - A tip? From who? - Does it matter?
詹姆斯 James.
一定是詹姆斯 It was James.
我们还不能确定 We don't know that.
- 你不能走 - 积丝，我没有选择 - You're not going. - Jacks, I don't have a choice.
你当然有！ Yes, you do.
你可以和我结婚 You can marry me!
积丝，我不能这么做 Jacks. I can't ask you to do that.
现在是我向你求婚 Then it's a good thing I'm asking!
是啊，很感谢你的好意，但是… Yes. And it's very kind of you. But...
这对你不公平 It's not fair to you.
也许你觉得我这么做 是觉得内疚或者可怜你 Look. I know you think I'm doing this out of guilt or pity.
但不是那样的 But that's just not true.
是我想，我愿意这么做 I'm doing this because I want to.
我知道你的事业正在起飞 Because I know that you're on the verge of fulfilling your dreams!
如果我能帮上你的忙 我会觉得非常高兴 And if I could be a part of that, that would make me happy.
我也不想你离开 求你了，和我结婚吧 And I don't want you to go. So please. Marry me!
我不知道该说什么好 I don't know what to say.
除非你想让我觉得无地自容 Well, unless you want me to feel totally humiliated say yes.
我喜欢，靠，我知道自己很有天赋 I'm like, fuck that. I know I'm talented.
我不需要皇家戏剧学院的狗屁学位 I don't need some RADA degree to tell me.
你明白吗？ You know what I mean?
另外，我也不想成为那种 And besides, I'm not interested in
靠可爱外表成名的男演员 being some luvvie character actor.
我是天生的主演！ I am a leading man, for fuck's sake.
为什么要浪费我的黄金时期去学习？！ So why waste my time studying during my peak years.
你明白吗？ You know what I mean?
是的，我想我明白 Yes, yes. Well, I, I think I do.
有时候学习可以用来避免一些… I mean sometimes studying can become a way of avoiding doing...
我拿不定主意要不要剪头发 I'm just not sure whether I should cut my hair.
经纪人叫我剪掉 但这头发是我与众不同的标志 I mean, my agent thinks I should, but I think it's what makes me
你明白吗？ distinctive. You know what I mean?
对，我想我明白 Yeah. I think I do.
所以…想上床吗？ So... you wanna go to bed?
什么？ What?
你想上床吗？就是做爱 Do you want to go to bed? You know, have sex?
我… I...
当我明确知道我想干吗时 我就不会再浪费时间了 I don't like wasting time when I know what I want.
一切都好吧？ Is everything OK?
是的，我给皮特打电话 但他老是不接 Yes, I was just trying Peter, but he didn't answer.
哦，你又帮我点了一杯？ 谢谢，亲爱的 Oh, you ordered me another drink. Thanks, Babies!
你真体贴 You're so thoughtful!
你和詹姆斯怎么了？ So what happened with you and James?
所有异性恋男人都会发生的问题 The same thing that happens with all straight men.
如果女方有自己的事业而且独立 They pretend that they're fine with you having a career
他们会表现的若无其事 and being independent.
但他们内心深处却极度反感 或者说他们想要改变女人 But deep down, they resent it. Or they want to change it.
不是所有的异性恋男人都这样 Well, not all straight men.
相信我说的话 所有异性恋男人都是这样 Trust me! All of them!
最后，他们只想得到一个东西 At the end of the day, all straight men just want one thing.
你知道是什么吗？ You know what that is?
性？ Sex?
控制！ Control!
所有异性恋男人的问题就是 无论他们多么努力去适应女人 The problem with straight men is that no matter how hard
他们最终还是希望能控制和支配女人 they try, they still need to control, to dominate.
幸亏你是同性恋！ Thank od you're gay!
- 积丝 - 你想想看 - Jacks. - I mean think about it!
为什么我俩在一起会这么自在？ Why do you think we feel so comfortable together?
因为我知道你不想和我上床 Because I know you're not trying to score.
总之，我不会再对异性恋男人感兴趣了 Anyway. I'm through with straight men!
干杯！ A toast!
愿世上没有异性恋男人！ No more straight men!
没有了最好 Ood riddance I say!
现在我们要为保罗献上一个小节目 And now, we have a very special dedication for Paolo.
保罗，这是你的未婚妻送你的礼物 Paolo, this one's from your future wife!
结婚快乐，亲爱的！ Happy Wedding, Babies!
我才想起来皮特那里可能有男人过夜 I just remembered that Peter might have a boy at the house.
我可以去你家吗？ 去桑德兰街 Can I stay at yours? Sunderland Terrace!
谢谢 Thanks.
哦，天哪，我刚才用了你的牙刷 Oh my god, I just used your toothbrush.
没关系 No problem.
我肯定是喝醉了 I think I'm drunk.
屋子在晃 The room's sloshing.
你打算站一晚上吗？ You going to stand up all night?
- 不 - 那就过来吧 - No. - Ood. Come.
我父母肯定会很喜欢你的 I think my parents would have really liked you.
你又聪明又温柔体贴 而且很有才 You're so smart and kind and you're so really talented.
- 积丝 - 我觉得你是 - Jacks! - I think you're exactly
我父母心中最好的女婿人选 the kind of person they would have wanted me to marry.
不能完全这么说 Well, not exactly.
不过那个无所谓了 But not in terms of what counts.
我知道我还不是很了解你 我知道我不是很了解你 I know that I don't know you very well,
跟你在一起我有安全感 but I feel safe with you.
很疯狂吧 Is that crazy?
不，一点也不 No. It's not crazy.
我信任你 I trust you.
积丝，我需要跟你说 Jacks, I need to tell you something.
- 上床再告诉我 - 我不可以！ - Et into bed and tell me. - I can't.
我保证不勾引你 I promise I won't make a pass.
- 我不是担心你！ - 保罗，什么 - It's not you I'm worried about. - What, Paolo?
你真的醉了！ You're so drunk!
汤姆 Tom.
汤姆，该起床了 Tom! It's time to get up.
-现在几点？ -快9点了 - What time is it? - Almost 9.
你要走了 You gotta go.
-什么？ -你要走了 - Excuse me? - You gotta go.
我有朋友过来吃早午餐 I've got some friends coming over for brunch.
汤姆，你在我的公寓里耶 Tom, you're in my apartment.
泰露拉，我可不能现在反悔！ Talullah, I can't get into it now.
去登记处找我！ Just meet me at the Registry.
没有见证人我可不能结婚！ I'm not getting married without a maid of honour.
不，亲爱的，你不需要写诗歌 No! Sweetie, you don't need to write a poem.
好吧，我再跟皮特打一次 Look, I have to try Peter again.
他一晚上都没接电话 He hasn't been answering the phone all night.
好的，再见 OK, bye.
- 喂？ - 皮特，你总算接电话了 - Hello? - Peter! Finally!
- 嗨，积丝 - 我打了一整晚的电话 - Hi, Jacks. - I've been calling you all night!
我知道，抱歉，昨晚关机了 I know, I'm sorry. I turned my phone off.
- Tim在你那儿过夜了？ - 是 汤姆 - Tim spend the night? - Tom!
- 管他叫什么名字呢！ - 是啊，我同意，现实总是残酷的 - Whatever. - I agree. Reality crashes in.
抱歉，皮特，听着 I'm sorry, Babies. Now listen.
你现在立刻赶到Islington登记处来 I need you to come down to the Islington Registry right away.
- 我要登记结婚了 - 什么？积丝！ - I'm getting married. - What? Jacks!
等你来了我再详细跟你解释 I'll tell you everything when you get there.
11点整前赶不到，预约就要被取消了 I just managed to get a cancellation at 11 sharp.
只有20分钟了！ That's in 20 minutes!
我还要去买一些结婚用的小东西 And I still need to buy a wedding outfit!
- 我挂了，拜！ - 等一下！ - Otta run. Bye! - Oh, wait!
在前面停车！ Oh, pull over right there!
我马上就回来！ I'll be right back!
保罗！谢天谢地你赶来了 Paolo! Thank od you're here!
- 轮到我们了吗？ - 还没有 - Have they called our names yet? - No.
艾米丽·杰克逊和 保罗·萨缅托在吗？？ Emily Jackson and Paolo Sar-mentio?
你们都是来参加积丝的婚礼的？ Are you all here for the Jackson wedding party?
如果有人反对这对新人的结合 If anyone knows why these two individuals before me
请在这里说明 should not be married, let them speak now
否则就请永远不要提起 or forever hold their peace.
- 我不是同性恋！ - 什么？ - I'm not gay. - Excuse me?
我不是同性恋！ I'm not gay!
你当然不是同性恋 Of course you're not gay!
他不是，我知道 He's not! Ay. I mean.
你俩真有趣 How nice for both of you.
如果还有其他原因反对他们… Now, if there's any other reason why...
我爱你 And I think I'm in love with you.
- 什么？ - 我爱她！ - What? - I mean, I'm in love with her.
- 保罗你这是干吗？ - 我在说实话 - Paolo, what are you doing? - Telling the truth.
我不是同性恋而且我爱你 I'm not gay and I think I'm in love with you.
我知道我应该早点告诉你的 I know I should have said something before.
但是每次时机都不对 But every time when I started, it seemed like the wrong time.
或者是因为我没有那个勇气开口 Or maybe I didn't have the courage.
当你提议说结婚时 But then when you suggested getting married.
我的脑子一片空白了 I just got swept up with the idea because I wanted more than
我只想着要留下来 我只想和你在一起 anything to stay. I wanted to stay with you.
我应该早点跟你说的但是… I know I should have said something but...
但是什么？ 你想把我当傻瓜一样耍着玩吗？ But, What? You wanted to make a fool? Out of me first?
积丝，你知道那不是事实 Jacks. You know that's not true.
我已经分不清什么是事实了 I have no idea what's true!
- 积丝 - 我是那么相信你 - Oh, Jacks. - I trusted you!
我什么话都跟你说 我还脱光了睡在你床上 I told you things. I was naked in your bed!
你们知道这事吗？ Did you know about this?
- 知道 - 你呢？ - Yes. - You?
- 我不知道 - 我告诉过你的 - No! - I told you!
哦，是的，刚才我说谎了 Yes! And now I've lied.
真不敢相信，我是那么相信你们 I can't believe I trusted any of you!
积丝，别这样… Jacks! Please...
下一对 Next.
- 走开 - 我进来了 - O away! - I'm coming in.
你真的让我太生气了 I should be very mad at you.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我太笨了，我怎么这么笨 I'm just so stupid! How could I be so stupid?
你不笨，你只是看到了你想看的 You're not stupid, you just saw what you wanted to see.
真不敢相信 我竟然那么信任他 I can't believe I trusted him!
我相信啊，他是个好男人 他值得你的信任 I can. He's a great guy. He deserves your trust.
别为他说好话 Don't you dare defend him!
我只是想说，保罗说他不是同性恋后 Look, all I'm saying is what's really changed about Paolo
究竟有什么东西已经改变了？ since he told you he was straight?
- 都变了！ - 是啊，改变的是你早已习惯的东西 - Everything! - Yes, everything you're used to.
所有你觉得能够从容应对的事情 Everything you're comfortable with.
什么意思？ What's that supposed to mean?
你有没有想过，是你自己不愿意去想 Have you ever considered you didn't want to see
保罗对你的真正感觉 how Paolo really felt about you?
因为那样做的话你就破例了 Because that would have meant breaking your rule.
什么例？ - What rule? - To only have sex with people
只和不爱的人上床 但是和爱的人绝不上床 you don't love and to only really love people you don't have sex with.
- 你胡说！ - 我没有 - That's not true. - Yes, it is.
因为你知道，那样做你绝不会受伤 Because that way you know you can't really get hurt.
保罗并没有变，他还是和以前一样 Look, Paolo hasn't changed. He's still the same person.
他还是你认识并相信的那个人 He's still the same person you know and believe in.
他还是那么温柔，善良，贴心 超级性感 And think is kind and smart and sweet and bloody sexy.
唯一改变的是 你们之间可能发生的事情 The only thing that's changed is what might happen between you.
而且他还会跳探戈！ And he can tango!
天哪，你说的太对了 Od, babies. You were so right!
现在回想起来 他有好几次都想跟我说的 I mean when I think about it now, he tried to tell me so many times.
是我没让他说下去 我不想听 And I just wouldn't let him. I didn't want to hear it.
我不想去了解，我太愚蠢了 I didn't want to see it! I was so blind!
当心！ Watch out!
- 几点了？ - 5：30，飞机是几点的？ - What time is it? - 5:30. What time's his flight?
6点，抓紧了 6! Hold on, babies.
- 请出示机票 - 我不上飞机 - Ticket? - Oh, I'm not flying.
只有买票上飞机的人才能走这个门 Only ticketed passengers past this point.
我知道，我有事要找英航飞机上的一个人 Yes, but I need to speak to someone on the BA flight
飞往不宜诺斯艾利斯的 有急事 to Buenos Aires. It's an emergency!
请到英航的服务台询问一下 Try the BA's customer service counter.
- 他们可以联系登机处 - 你说得对 - They can call the gate. - You're a genius!
我有急事要找一个人 英航飞往不宜诺斯艾利斯的班机 I have an emergency message for someone on your flight to Buenos Aires.
不宜诺斯艾利斯？ Flight to Buenos Aires?
对不起，那个航班已经上跑道了 I'm sorry but that flight's already pulled out of the gate.
提前起飞 It had an early departure.
提前起飞？ An early departure?
提前起飞？这个几率有多大？ An early departure? What are the chances of that?
如果这是电影，就绝不会提前起飞 If this was a movie, there wouldn't be an early departure.
如果这是电影，你应该是金发 If this was a movie, you'd be blonde!
如果这是电影，你就是个名人 If this was a movie, you'd be famous!
现实生活就是这样 不像电影 That's the problem with life, it's nothing like the movies.
真不敢相信你决定过去 I can't believe you're really going.
我只是听从你的建议，破例而已 I'm following your advice. I'm breaking my rules.
很好啊 Ood for you!
你会好好过吧？ Are you sure you're going to be OK?
积丝，我不是小孩子了 我会照顾好自己的 Jacks! I'm not a child, I'll be fine.
- 我只是担心你 - 你担心所有的人 - I worry about you, Babies. - You worry about everyone.
我更担心你 No, I worry about you more.
我不想看到你孤老一生 I just don't want you to end up alone.
我也不想啊 别这么多愁善感了好吗？ Well, neither do I. And stop being so dramatic!
你也不要再活在电影中了 So stop living your life like you're in some kind of movie.
什么意思？ Excuse me?
不要老想着一见钟情 多约会几次也好啊 Stop trying to cast your true love instead ofjust meeting him.
- 我第一眼就能觉出谁是我的真命天子 - 我怀疑 - When I meet him, I'll know. - I'm not so sure.
并不是所有的爱情都像闪电一样 Love isn't always a lightning bolt, you know?
有时就是一个选择 Maybe sometimes it's just a choice.
你说的简单啊 Well, that's easy for you to say!
你就要飞到阿根廷去见你的真命天子了 You're flying to Argentina to meet the love of your life!
事实就是这样 我不确定保罗就是我的真命天子 That's just it. I don't know that Paolo's the love of my life'
但是我决定给他这个机会去尝试 but I've decided to give him the chance to be.
也许真爱就是一个选择 Maybe true love is a decision.
你明白的，决定给某人一个机会 You know, a decision to take a chance with somebody.
只是给与，不求回报 To give to somebody. Without worrying whether
不执著于他们是否会伤害你 they'll give anything back. Or if they're gonna hurt you,
是否他就是真爱 or if they really are the one.
爱情也许不是降临到你身上的 Maybe love isn't something that happens to you.
爱情是一种选择 Maybe it's something you have to choose.
我该怎么做呢？ So what do I do?
把你那些对真爱的幻想 Well, you could start by putting all of those fantasies of
写到你的剧本里去 true love where they belong into your work of fiction.
相思成灾 'Love and Other Disasters.'
很不错的名字，很吸引人 Nice title. Catchy.
但是不适合大屏幕 改成‘爱情灾难’怎么样？ But it'll never fit on the marquee. How aboutjust 'Love Disasters? '
什么？ What?
我喜欢里面的积丝 I love that Jacks.
她具有英国人特有的幽默感 She's got that British quirkiness audiences love.
‘你好，亲爱的们！’ 'Hello, Babies! '
是的，但事实上她说话是美国口音的 Yes, but technically she speaks with an American accent
因为她是在美国长大的，所以… because she's grown up in America so...
太复杂了，我们就决定她是英国人 Nah, it's too complicated. Let's make her English.
- 格温妮丝最适合这个角色 - 格温妮丝 帕尔特洛？ - Perfect part for wyneth! - Wyneth Paltrow?
同期中最好的女演员 Finest English actress of her generation!
灵光闪先！ 奥兰多 布鲁姆演那个墨西哥人 Brainstorm! Orlando Bloom as the Mexican.
保罗是阿根廷人！ Paolo's Argentinean!
海报就用霹雳娇娃德鲁和卡梅隆吧 And we'll cover the American angle with Drew and Cameron.
德鲁·巴里摩尔和卡梅隆·迪亚兹？ 演谁？ Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz? As who?
大卫和汤姆 Playing David and Tom.
抱歉，你想让我删掉同性恋的情节？ I'm sorry, you want me to get rid of the gay story line?
我没让你删任何情节 I don't want you to get rid of anything!
我只是说将大卫和汤姆 I'm just saying instead of David and Tom,
换成黛西和蒂娜 we have Daisy and Tina.
- 我… - 你还要改一下结尾 - I... - Also, you gotta fiddle with that ending.
结尾要有大片的感觉 积丝最终和保罗再见面 We need a bigger movie moment when Jacks finally connects
是的，但是… - with Paolo. - Yes, but...
抱歉，故事的关键不在于 有没有大片的效果 Sorry, the whole point is there is no big movie moment
因为他们都发现真爱只某个步骤 because they both discover that true love is a process
而不是整个过程 not an event.
皮特，我明白了 You know, Peter. I get it.
这个剧本就像你的孩子，是吗？ This script is like your baby, isn't it?
是的，可以这么说… Well, yes, I suppose it is...
我明白，相信我 我明白你的想法 I understand that. Believe me, I understand that.
过来 Come here.
我给你些建议 I want to give you some advice!
你会杀了你的孩子！ 你这是在杀害你的孩子！ You gotta kill your baby! You gotta fuckin' kill your baby!
是啊，谢谢，谢谢 Right. Thank you. Thank you.
对不起 Sorry.
- 皮特！ - 大卫！嗨 - Peter! - David! Hi!
- 你好吗？ - 不错，还好，你呢？ - How are you? - Ood, good. You?
很好，我正在说服索斯比 Reat, I've managed to convince Sotheby's to transfer me
把我调回伦敦 你的剧本写得怎样了？ back to London. How's the writing going?
还好，谢谢，总算是完成了一个剧本 Ood, thanks, I've finally finished a screenplay.
真不错，写的什么故事？ Reat! What's it about?
哦，就是写的一个男人终于意识到 Oh, it's just about some guy who realizes he's been
他一直在错误的地方追寻着真爱 looking for love in all the wrong places.
- 比如说酒店大厅？ - 是啊，或者在脑子里 - Like in hotel lobbies? - Yes, or in his head.
- 总之，祝贺你！ - 谢谢！ - Well, congratulations! - Thank you, thank you.
或许应该等到电影上映后再恭喜我 You may want to wait until you've seen the film.
不，我是恭喜你有这个勇气写出剧本 I don't need to. I'm congratulating you for having the courage to write it.
不管是怎么写成的或能否写成 都无所谓，因为都是出自你手 How it turns out or even if it turns out that's out of your hands.
- 总之，多保重 - 好的，你也是 - Anyway, take care. - Yes. You, too.
我们出站后左拐 It's on the left when we get out.
大卫 David!
皮特 Peter?
你还好吧？ Are you OK?
不好，现在我觉得丢脸的要死 No. Actually, I'm very out of shape and that nearly killed me.
但我想告诉你两件事 But I needed to tell you two things.
首先我要向你道歉 First, I'm really sorry I was so self-absorbed
第一次见面的时候我太自以为是了 when I first met you at brunch.
你没必要向我道歉的 You don't have to apologize to me.
不，我不是道歉 是我自己觉得内疚 Oh, no, I'm not apologizing to you. I'm sorry for my own sake.
我太先入为主了 You see, I was so caught up in my own head.
错失了了解你的好机会 I missed out on getting to know you.
而且我很想深入了解一下你 And I would like to get to know you.
我是说，如果你还愿意 给我这个机会的话 I mean if you'd be willing to give me another chance?
要不我请你吃饭怎么样？ Maybe let me take you out for dinner?
哦，这个… Oh, I don't know.
我一直幻想着能和你一起吃饭 See, I've had this fantasy in my head about having dinner with you.
还担心你根本不愿意 What if you don't live up to it?
哦，那么，我就一直约你吃饭 Oh well, then I'd just have to keep taking you out
直到你这种担心不再存在 until I get it right.
- 是吗？ - 是的 - Yeah? - Yeah.
- 法国菜还是意大利菜？ - 意大利菜吧 - French or Italian? - I think Italian.
好啊 Ood.
保罗！ Paolo!
积丝！ Jacks!
保罗，我真是太笨了 Paolo, I've been such a bloody fool!
你能原谅我吗？ Can you ever forgive me?
爱就是无条件的原谅对方 Love means always forgiving.
我是真的爱你，真的 And I do love you, Paolo! I do!
是他们强迫我写这种结尾的 They made me write that ending.
很显然，观众们决定了积丝和保罗 Apparently, audiences demanded that Jacks and Paolo have
必须得有一个好莱坞似的完美结局 this big Hollywood moment.
我很喜欢这个结尾啊 I loved that ending.
你怎么会喜欢这种结尾？ 也太假了！ How can you love that ending? It's so artificial!
总比现实中发生的事情要好很多 It's a lot better than what really happened!
同意，我可不觉得把积丝到了阿根廷后 I agree, I don't think having Jacks arrive in Argentina
上吐下泻的情景搬到大屏幕上 会带来巨大的票房收入 with a bad case of diarrhoea would have had the same impact.
我喜欢我们相遇的情节 I loved how I came across.
你的角色是德鲁·巴里摩尔演的！ You were played by Drew Barrymore!
她很好的诠释了我的特质 Who totally captured my essence.
德鲁在里面演的很不错啊 Name was absolutely brilliant in that.
不是我吹牛 我在片子里是最引人注意的 Well, I don't like to brag but I really think I stole the movie!
我是那么诙谐，感伤，另类，显示 I mean, I was funny. Touching. Eccentric. Real.
就是有点老 If a little old for the part.
我还得感谢你没有写 我和詹姆斯以分手作结局 And I have to applaud your decision not to show me ending up with James.
为什么？你觉得我俩在一起很丢脸吗？ Why? Are you ashamed of our relationship?
当然不是了，亲爱的 No, of course not, darling.
因为你在里面是个坏男人 It's just that you were the villain
而且这种结局有点让人觉得不可信 and itjust wouldn't have felt very believable.
- 你真聪明啊！ - 谢谢！ - What a clever boy you are! - Thank you.
把泰露拉和她母亲描写的差不多年纪 Making Talullah and her mother look the same age!
这种手法很现代，保罗 That's very modern, Paul!
对不起，我刚结束拍摄 I'm so sorry! My shoot went over!
你刚才错过了我们的生活写真 You just missed the story of our lives.
但是现实生活更美好 But with better lighting!
你们都知道 不是我向移民局举报保罗的吧？ Everyone knows I wasn't the one who reported Paolo to immigration, right?
是啊，亲爱的，我们都知道不是你 Yes, darling, we know.
我们应该为这个干一杯！ Well, I think this calls for champagne!
是啊，去克莱里奇吧，出门向左 Oh, right! Claridge's, turn left!
- 怎么了，亲爱的？ - 没事 - Babies, what's wrong? - Nothing.
你写了个剧本，而且还拍成了电影 You wrote a screenplay. And they made a movie out of it!
我知道我应该觉得庆幸 我是那么幸运 I know and I should be grateful. Look, I'm very lucky.
但是…我也说不清 It's just... I don't know.
我只是想真实地描绘我们的生活 I just wanted to tell the truth and somewhere along the line
但是不知从哪开始 事实就被谎言取代了 it got mixed up with a bunch of lies.
没人会把电影里描写的当真 除非一些法国人 Nobody goes to the movies for truth except possibly the French!
事实总是那么复杂而且不尽人意 The truth is way too complicated. And unsatisfying.
而且难以让人信服 And hard to believe.
- 哦，天哪！ - 怎么了？ - Oh, my od! - What?
- 我觉得我的羊水破了！ - 什么？ - I think my waterjust broke. - What?
我也觉得不太可能 我的预产期还有3周 I know, it's impossible, right? I'm not due for another 3 weeks!
保罗！保罗！她要生了！ Paolo! Paolo! She's having the baby now!
快叫救护车！快叫出租车！ Call an ambulance! Call a taxi!
镜头上升、后拉… 继续往后，直到他们变成广场上的小点 …继续往后，人影消失在整个伦敦市之中 画面渐黑，显示影片结束的字幕